You pick me up when i fall.

KNNCCB!

2008-12-11T02:05:00.005+08:00

http://mayazeerawr.blogspot.com/
new blog,hehe. -.-

2008-12-10T01:13:00.003+08:00

Im happy, yes i am. Worked from 11am till 7pm, texted,asking if he's fetching me. Made a last minute plan on watching movies cus he dont wanna go home early,and i wanna waste time and sincerely,i wanna spent time with him. So yeap,met him at town,and walked to the cinema. Baby,i dont like going town,so i dont quite know the way there, understand? Grrr. Made a hard choice,either to take a boring show and end fast or take another horror show and ends at 11 plus,cause it started at 9.55pm. So yeah, we took the late night show,hell's highway 31km. I never expect us to be so close haha serious. -.-' And yeah, we waited for 1 hour plus for the movie to start,and we started talking about pasts,backgrounds,and yeah,get to know each other. haha,omg. K fine,but thanks for the things you done cause i was shivering in the movie just now. Sincerely,i wasnt cold but im shivering,idk why,lol.
And yeah,at least i gave a quick kiss cause i owe you one. I gain the courage alot sia,k no. Meet up soon okay. Im off, tmrw's working at 7am,and will be having a christmas party for the full timers,from 4 till 10pm,i think. Im off, need to wake up at 5 sia tmrw,im knocking off after baby's replying to my text, k bye!

Your kiss, the warmth of your hands, your quick hugs.
Im scared to say,i dont know if ive fallen for you. :/

2008-12-08T23:29:00.004+08:00

Im taking what's ought to be mine at first. Am i serious? Im not sure about this. But i sure not gonna put high hopes since he hurt me like a few times. So yeah, im just trying out. I owe someone a kiss,haha.

First up,i didnt go anywhere today,eventhough its hari raya haji . Was suppose to go to relative's house but me and mom was lazy and tired.Woke up at 2pm, have a chat while eating tomyam maggi. Mom and me,we talk alot today,i realise by now just now we talk for 2 hours straight about everything. She started by this. *english version. Im sorry, im gonna be open about this.

Mom: What happened to you and faris?
Me:Nothing,maybe just not the right one for me. But yeah ,i guess he really is not the right one,since he drinks and all. And he waits for this girl for a year plus alr. So nevermind,i'll understand.
Mom: Omg he drinks?
Maya: Yeah but whatever .(This guy) is too nice,i want someone half wild ,so i can see if he's willing to change for me.
Mom: *rolls eyes. Get a nice guy already,you dont want.
Maya: Hahaha what to do.

Mom is into relationships whc leads to marriage,and i debate with her about teenagers goes for relationship just to experience and stuffs like that. So stop telling me to find a nice guy,hahaha. Serious sia mom-.- We talk about alooooot of things within this two hours,about my lovelife is the most.

Slept again after that till 7pm, and woke up. After bathing,grab the nearest flyer and randomly say to mom im hungry and im craving for pizza. So i asked her to poon money so we did shared the combo 1 rite pizza. Its cheap,just for 23bucks. It was my first time calling,so im scared hahaha idk why. Always bro or stepbro who does the calling. So yeah,called,thank god its a women who pick up. Blablabla ordered and someone came within 30minutes.

Haha swear sia, the rite pizza delivery guy cute siul. Serious. He was smiling at me , case gabra then i took the food,hand the money,put the food on the table,he waited for me to say bye then he go, haha then he smile for the last time ahhhhhhhhhh *melts.

Maya:*close door. Ahh ibu! Hot nye.
Mom:Go ask for his number ah.

hahahaha! Cause i think she saw me blush or smth while taking the things,hahaha lol sia. Im off, tmrw's working at 11, bye!

*remaining picts on saturday.

Over you.

2008-12-08T01:42:00.011+08:00

Its sunday,wait. Its monday already and its my second day not working already. And its.. hari raya haji!!!! K stop it. Sunday and monday is my off day. So yeah, thoughts of watching movie,but i couldnt reach deeyan, and feeqah last minute cancel cause mom's asking her to prepare for hari raya haji. So i text like, everyone. Many were busy and working,two wanted to accompany me, but i feel like going out with someone im close with. Lol,the motive nabilah came my house after that was to take her skinnies and cardigan. I told her my problem for that day, and i was joking when i ask her to skip work and go out with me, and turns out she called her manager and yes, settled. Thanks to yan, her boyfriend whc replace her to work,cause their workplace is so budget sia,have little workers-.-'

Then siap-ed,when we're at my void deck downstairs,my sandles,the rubber cut off/putus. Lol my english good siul. Fuck, then went up again and change. Went to j8, sweared j8 is so complicated,the malls.Randomly ate at pastamania. Nabilah ordered alfredo,and i ordered just beef lasagnia,not worth it, its 10.90bux siul. But nevermind,once a month,lol. Then,walk around,bishan's cotton on so budget,dont go there,haha. Then,cancelled our plan to watch movie of wildchild,then went to bugis st for an hour plus,and then we success in walking from bugis to cityhall. Nabilah is sooo clever. Haha. Then,went to mus's workplace and brought ice blended and slack there. Mus didnt have the courage to give us free drinks and we have to buy with our money _|_ Lol. Then went to esp and slack till 11 plus. And went home. Someone was suppose to fetch me, but he's tired,lol. Nevermind. Nabilah allight at db cause fetching yan.

I walked slowly while otw home,and reached home at 12.45,around there i think. Mom's sleeping,so she didnt nag,lol. Believe it anot,i havent wash my make up yet and i just went online,lol. Took alot of picts today,so mind my post, bye.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI,READERS! :D

HAHAHAHA!

One eyed monster eating alfredo,hahaha.

Errrr kay,im hungry AGAIN-.-

The cheese!

Cool,without my face,hahaha.

Cityhall.

Raffles' one fullerton coffeebean.

Bored-.-'

I made that place like my home,haha.

Promoting.

When nabilah's doing business,hahaha k no. I know i look short.

Just how many cm different from you darling.

I want fatter thighs please.

Down yours. I look tall yeay.

Hunchback.

_________

Photography,hahahaha!

Minahrep.

I get only one white watch for this one whole day and i finish 25 bucks altgt-.-

Last pic of the day.

Off's day tmr,at last!

2008-12-04T23:59:00.000+08:00

Forget About Me - Little Bit
Work was more to boring than tired today cause its saturday and there's not alot of customer. I didnt feel tired. I drop by ska fest and just lepak yesterday and today. Went home with friends,including azri,mus and their friends whc i dont think i ever had this experiece a whole bunch of them sitting on a whole two rows of cabins together. Serious,coolness,lol. But,me and my girls just do our own things and talk. Went to skafest again with feeqah and nabilah. With my work uniform,k whatever. I just wanna slack around, met paii up and i so miss him. Yeap,bumped into fiqqo for the second time,and norra's so cute. But she didnt tegur,lol. Last long aye !(: Well my schedule's straight 9-5pm sia,omg fuck rosana! But nevermind. Im going chalet for 3 days starting tmrw. Having my off day tmrw,and im going to hit escape with my relatives,man! And yup, i'll go work from the chalet. Menyusahkan,but nevermind. And maybe will drop by malek's chalet and the others, since we're on the same chalet at downtown. So yeap,will be going out with haiqal next week. Watch movies or smth,cause the last movie i watch was with fad,but its a boring and unmeaningful one, the movie i mean. I miss fad, jaja and tasha. I miss deeyan too. I miss alot of people, i'll sleep at 2 if im gonna state it down sia. So yeap,thats it.

from three,one down. one have given up. another one still trying,another? went vanish. there's nothing between us,we acted as strangers. i expected more. im always expecting alot,but nothing happen. i wanna stop hoping,im gonna stay this way,let this feelings fade. tell me,whats the use of praying when you drank unwanted drinks frequently? if you look closely,ive been wanting to change you,but i failed i guess. i wanted to see if you do things for my sake,but nope,im wrong. yeah,its your life,but im doing this because.. ugh nevermind,its so useless talking to you. and to those fuckeeeeeers,mind your own business,its my business who i wanna have feelings for,your brother or your dad,its non of your fucking business. okay about the dad thing,im joking,but really ah,fucked up sia. nak bahasakan orang tu, tak perlu. im done,will update soon,bye!

p/s: just one thing i freaking remembered smth about you,your smell. idk,but its just a sweet smell,fact.

*remaining picts i havent upload,since two.three days ago.

Afiqah,you tahu i sayang you,HAHAHAHA.
Takde link , but you know i know.

Work.

And you,i know we're having our small quarrels nowadays,dk why.

But im so sorry.

I'll be there no matter what eventhough you did alot of things yesterday wch made me tired of conforting you when you're down. We cared about you,but you get angry instead,and push us roughly away from you. Nevermind.

And you,i havent had enough of you, lets go out some other time again,bestf.:D

2008-11-27T23:32:00.004+08:00

FUCK YOU,ASSHOLE!

I just feel like punching someone in the face sia.(Eventhough i havent tried my first punch yet.) But whatever, i just want to punch someone in the face please, favour! Satu satu buat perangai macam sial ah! Fuck off ah.

Just a summary.

Work from 11 -7 but went to polyclinic at 9 plus to get my mc stamp,wtf.
Had ftq on coffeebean qns and i failed it. Passing mark was 80percent but i get 60 percent,retake next month.
Zahirah came by my workplace,waited for ain and me.
Met feeqah and mus up, budak budak coffeebean(haha) went to fareast and accompany feeqah find a present and went to eat and blablabla.
Reach home, eat,vacuum,play comp.

And yes to any,close friends,strangers,friends,friends whc i didnt contact with,if you think you dislike me,just go away.thanks.

So much for your "Do you know that you're the only girl im contacting with?"

Yo wassup? Im happy,you?

2008-11-26T22:24:00.008+08:00

Im so in love with hamzah's hp camera..
except for the irritating touchscreen's so sensitive-.-

First,i didnt attend work. I didnt have any accompanion to accompany me to the doctor. Mom insist on taking half day so she could send me to the polyclinic but i rather go alone. But nabilah's name appeared on my mind on the very last minute. Text and get to know she's on the way home from work,great. We planned and meet up at bns. But wait! Lol, i meet this guy i bumped into alot of times. He's my 3rd floor neighbour,i think he's taking n level too. Because that time when i get back from school from taking n level, he just came back too and took the same lift with me. He smiled and say thanks alot of times sia, just because i press the 3rd floor and press the open door button for him,lol. Then just now bumped into him at the bustop, and like we were shocked sia,then i smiled at him. (:

Waited at bns, bumped into alooot of evgians,including feeqah,shazana and her boyf,raymond,rongsheng,alot ah. Suspect they got a class outing tho. I just wave and continue waiting. Well, proceed to amk polyclinic,and yeah nabilah sooooo freaking siao,go take alot of snaps of tak perlu pictures. Whatever, im high too,but im sick at the same time,lol. Met the doctor,flirt around and.. k no, i just told him i got sore throat,flu and asthma. Thats all, quite cheap eh polyclinic,now i know. Then proceed to amk hub and i ordered nasi bryani and nabilah ordered one chocolate prata,yum. But her order came late, till we finish up the bryani already. Still hungry so i ordered another two big prata. Really, buat muke tembok siul order lagi -.- Snap picts, then prceed to woodlands to meet yan and hamzah to lepak.

When we were at sembawang, we were talking about gg down awhile to drop by to see zahirah's then suddenly we saw zahirah going in the mrt and we were like wtf! So coincidence,lol. Then met them, and wan joined us. Blablabla lepak, then we send wan to the mrt, he met his friends. Then, dpt tahu he called us again after we parted, and he send me home. Like patah balik patah balik siul lol. Okay, thanks yall for the day,and im sorry yan for having your bicycle's tayar pancit. Mana aku tau, aku naik abeh die meletup siul,lol. Sorry, i'll pay your 20bucks (:

Idk, tmrw farihin's starting at 9 and im starting at 11. I have to go back to amk poly to get my mc chopp-.- I forgot sial. Then wan's planning to send me to the poly and to work,im not that sure, let's see. Im off,bye!

Nabilah cakap die cute.

Nabilah say she owns this cause she like my reaction,lol.

And she'll laugh everytime she see this pic,lol!

Thanks nab,i love this. HAHAAHA.

Roti prata! Okay im hungry again.

Tak perluu.

K i look diff.

Redbull and medicines makes you high,k no.

Hamzah,nabilah and me?

Can you please stop pretending to be a bitch?

2008-11-26T01:35:00.003+08:00

Lyrics.

I still remember farihin sends me this song when i cant get over my ex date. It helps me alot,as i read the lyrics and asked myself,why go crazy over someone? It's still early, move along move along just to make it through! Just a random thing to post about though.

Cause i go through alot of blogs whc is love sick,having someone who cant like you back is the worst thing ever,i know. Lol. I mean,right. What for waits for someone,who cant be waited? I mean,as in if he/she wont be yours, might be better to move along and gets a new replacement or be single or whatever. Im implying this to some people. I mean,yup if i cant have the feelings for you, what for wait? Im sorry,i have to be straight just to knock alot of sense into you. Whoever the you is. If you think you're you, then yeap its you. Dont bother asking if im blogging about you or someone else,i wont entertain your questions.

And to some people who feels ive push them aside, dont you think i have my reasons, whc i OBVIOUSLY dont wanna tell? Yes, dont let me hate you. Just let me be in my world of coffeeebean (-.-') just for this three months till december. Kay wait, i have a contract of 6 months k whatever. Im beginning to hate someone but im trying not to. You're like taking everything away from me,dont you realise that? Good friends,yeah right.

Came late for work,cause have to go to the redhill hq,fucking far. So,me and farihin have to extend one hour to make it up. Whatever, as long as i wont be doing closing,its fine with me. Had fun times as usual, laugh work laugh work. As long as there is akmal, i'll have my laughters. As usual, he's my entertainer. (I told him this and he get pissed,haha.) Tasha waited for us from 6 plus till 8,so we awarded her with a large caramel ice blend and a toblerone cheesecake. She's weird, people are so craving for toblerone cheesecake yes she didnt finish it, and the large caramal iceb? She didnt finish it too -.-

Reach woodlands,walk to tasha's house to take my earpiece,then lepak with raymond,nadhirah,malek and this sec 3 guy,idk the name together with farihin at hardcourt till 10.30pm and then went home. I remembered when im on the way home with farihin she was like *backing off, and say "aku nak kentot,kejap." And i freaking swear i heard a "pret pret prettttttt" sound. Bunyik cerek siul,lol. I lol after that sia,serious. Bunyi macam engine motor sia, k no. Im off,will be starting at 11 tmr, bye!

You're one step close to winning my heart,boy.

2008-11-24T22:51:00.005+08:00

The day i get crazy on my own .

I know how it feels like when your own friend/close friend takes someone you liked before, but im just so sorry,really sorry. Doesnt mean i entertained him,i liked him too,right? But i dont know. Really,i cant promise anything. What i know, i got mixed feelings right now. Let's see how long this guys will stay, i dont think all this will last,they'll leave one by one. Cause i can be a veeeeery boring person if you know me better. Yeah right. Why the sudden? You're gonna ask me whats with me? I just dont know? Lols,just feel like it.

I want someone whom i can get along with, feeling comfortable with him.
I want someone to make me talk and laugh all the way,i dont want silence.
Silence means, i dont know what to talk about,and that means im not comfortable.
I wanna find someone wch i can stare in his eyes,
without looking away, for a short period of time.
I want someone to text me sweet stuffs oftenly to
show that he cared,even when im busy.
.....
Okay fine,
i just want someone to be able to make myself act as myself, and love for myself.
I miss having someone to walk me home,lol. K,im remembering about the past-.-

I miss my ex date, but as a friend,really. Yeah, the one who got everything i wanted in a guy, k whatever. Im over him but yes, still memories cant be erase,right?
Have to take the fact that ive dated/kissed/hugged a jerk like him (: But whatever.
Ive got alot to update, but im blank now. My extensions falling, i guess. But whatever. Im off,bye.

Remaining pics for prom. :D

Shazanna.

TABLE 10.

Prom!

2008-11-23T14:53:00.013+08:00

Let the pictures do the talking.Grab it here, from zahirah's cam. K bye.

Ain.

Tasha,norman.

Shaqeel,syafiq.

Shaqeel.

Zahirah,shazana.

Aref,nabilah.

Ariff,ain.

Nabilah,zahirah,shazana,tasha,maya,ain.

Ain.

Peisi,nabilah.

Malek,yan,norman,ishqal.

Zahirah.

Nabilah,yan, ishqal.

Ariff,peisi.

Host.

Zahirah,ariff.

Norman.

Syafiq,ain.

Lol.

Mdm hayati.

Muke tak perlu.

Candid, cute pe sak -.-

Nabilah,afiq.

Mr viknesh.

The girls.

Zahirah norman.

Ishqal,norman.

Tasha,norman.

....

Nabilah yan.

RAYMOND! *melts.

Was bored.

Haleem.

Fuck those feelings.

2008-11-23T01:37:00.004+08:00

I got this one embarassement moment i had three days ago. I was with farihin , otw to bugis to find our last minute prom night things. I was feeling rimas with my hair untied so i did two braids. Farihin was sleeping while listening to songs,so i hack cared. Since this cute ite guy walks in the mrt, we had alot of eye contacts, but hack cared,i just want my hair to be done. Im done with one braid, then when i have to tie my second braid, i panic-ed cause my hairband was nowhere to be seen. I find, and muke confident sia, nak bangun check if i sit on it. Then i look at the cute guy for idk what reason, and he muncungkan mulut and points to the floor, kiwak cute sia, haha. He was pointing at my hair band, then i was paisey of course, i whispered thanks to him, laugh and then continue doing my braids,lol. Small things like this,made me embarrased for days,really. I cant.

So yes, did i tell you i miss mus and ajie the most? I guess no, i just saw them a few minutes ago,lol. Met mum and ajie at woodlands mrt, then go back home together. For as long as one month i didnt saw my own brother, pathetic? Yes. Mom told me he sulk cause no one wanna topup his prepaid for him,roflols. So yeah, i turn in early just now, at 11pm. I heard mus's voice out in my living room talking with ajie, but i was enjoying my sleep, and i was lazy to go out from my room. Hack cared,till mus gave alot of miss calls, jump out from my bed, went out, and he shouted "Mayaaa! Aku miss kau!" (Without remembering my mom's asleep) Then he hug me tightly,ikutkan je ah cause i just wake up with my busuk face. Just because of i miss mus yknow,lol. He ask me to give him a kiss before leaving, and i did, for the first time,lol. Lol but i still miss him, spent time tgt next time. Ajie and mus's downstairs thonning.

So yeah my day's went great. Met wan and zahirah at woodlands last cab at 8am and proceed to redhill, wan was quiet today and he use the reason sleepy, to cover up,lol. Feeqah came and yeah, proceed. Were suppose to meet akmal at redhill, but he woke up late -.= reached hq and have out world of tea class. I wasnt even paying attention,cause i was sleepy, and i did fall asleep infront of the trainer. Whatever, finish off at 2.30am,i pass my tea test but i have to retake my coffee class whc i was so semangat in. Semangat , fail. Tak semangat, pass. Baik maya, baik. Then had lunch with akmal and feeqah since wan have to attend soccer and zahirah have to attend work. Had alot of laughters, cause akmal was being such an ass, till me and feeqah is still laughing when we're otw to raffles. Lol. Attend work blablabla, as usual its never not fun when there's akmal. Was suppose to meet afiq,feeqah all up to lepak at marina but i was tired and sleepy,im sorry guys.

Someone's gonna quit smoking and i hope he mean it. Thanks. /And yes, im missing someone after two days not talking on the phone with you.

I hate you.

2008-11-21T23:33:00.011+08:00

Im tired,so i'll just upload prom's pictures whc i have in my phone. The rest is at either raymond,shazana and zahirah. Me and farihin went to bugis and do last minute shopping. Swear we were rushing. So yeap. Dyed my hair dark auburn isit? Lol idk, but then the colour didnt turn out sia, abit only. I wanna dye my hair , i dont care AGAIN. But after my salary.

Took cab with tasha cause she said if we were to met up the other friends,
there wont be any surprise.

Went to the ladies, and yeah took picts waiting for the rest to came cause we're shy to walk into the ballroom just by two persons.

Thats tasha's arms. My arms' not that thin haha.

CANDIDS.

They were playing some jigsaw puzzle game lmao,i just sat down.

Had some activites at first, got games and whatsoever. I felt sleepy halfway, but when it comes to the dinner,food part, kiwak terus diri siul,i didnt even wait for my turn. And im the only girl at the table whc have a 2nd round of the foods. Its deeeeeeeeelicious,especially the fish,isit sweet and sour? Lol,idk. Whatever it is, i know its nice, haha. I took like 15 fishes altogether,lol. Tasha ate a little-.- Like 1/8 of mine,lol. Ckp je nak gemuk! Lol. Took alot of pictures after that, as i say the others are at other's cam, so i'll just upload everything next time. (: There's this dance part but me and tasha didnt dance, i mean yeah we sit around on the stage, some were high like seriously, eg shaqeel -.- Lol, he didnt felt tired dancing HYPERLY on the stage for hours! Lol.

Faris called me to inform he've reached near safra, so yeah i went to meet him and he send me till woodlands mrt, thanks okay(: But still , no thanks for you cause you refuse to sing for me in the bus,lol! Haha. Well, had work at 11am today till closing, and yeap i have a class for teas tmrw at 9am. Will be meeting alot, akmal,feeqah,zahirah and wan up before proceeding to redhill. And im working tmrw at 3 till closing at 8,lol. Penat pe siul, but nevermind sunday off day yeay. Im off, bye.

Forever and always.

2008-11-20T15:49:00.002+08:00

Imma at farihin's house now, and im waiting for my hair to be dyed, i dont know how will it turns out, but nevermind as long as its dyed, lol. The pic above, aww i dont have that pic already, i got it from farihin's computer. Such a long tme pic ago, as farihin's crib. Okay im off, gonna wash this smelly hair of mine and yeah get dressed. Bye yaw!

You're the voice i hear inside my head.

2008-11-20T00:12:00.003+08:00

Promnight's tmr. Aries told me i had to go upper paya lebar's coffeebean outlet,i got attachment cause i got this "UPL" in my schedule under my name. Ass him, its unpaid leave,lol. Nevermind. Okay prom, i got my dress,i got my necklace,i got half of my accesories and i got my shoes already. Left for tmrw,a shawl,hair accesories,and MAYBE get my hair dyed. I want smth like naturally red,burgandy i think. Whatsoever. I just want my hair to be dyed,lol. I'll be going out in the morning alone,since farihin needs to accompany her sis to somewhere. I'll just get my things somewhere near, get home, dye my hair, and yea meet friends up. Since they're planning to take a cabby there. Its nowhere far, just orchid country club at yishun. I really hope tmrw will turn out fine and fun!

Okay work was (Y) today. I went in at 1pm till closing. But farihin goes home early today,so i go home alone. After work, walk to cityhall mrt with akmal just for fun so we can have a talk with each other. Was suppose to meet his friend,the guy with the bike,i ever blog about him bfr,remember? Yeah. But cancelled. So yeah, had a talk with him, i told him my current problem whc i dont think i would elaborate it here. And he gave me some advice. He just had alot of stories to tell me, i dont think we even had silent moments,lol. Then went seperate ways and yeah home-ed.

Okay firstly,i wanna apologise if my previous post hurt any of your feelings. What i know, this guy lost his position as a soccer captain cause he said he read my blog and kept thinking about me. I hope ive comfort you well just now and i really am sorry. Dont feel rejected please,i just dont think its the time to find someone new. And i just dont feel like having a relationship now. Well,i do wanna feel having a boyfriend, but i dont want a relationship, understand? Lol, nevermind. And if you realise,i havent been blogging about a person whc im alwaaaays updating about,having problems and quarrels with him and all.If you realise la,lol. Cause he vanish alr,probably busy preparing for gig stuffs. Ok wait, he just approached me,lol. Im off, going to sleep. And tmrw confirm there will be alot of gorgeous girlssxzxzx wooo! Lol, k bye.

Promnight's one day away,yeay.

2008-11-19T00:16:00.003+08:00

Motive putting this old pic : I so miss school fucking much!

Okay yes, i miss school and i miss schoolmates, and i miss friends, and i miss close friends, and i miss teachers, k easy said, i miss everything about school. I miss having the commitment in maths, eventhough i cant really catch up that fast,i miss madam haslina. I miss sleeping in both science class, cause thats the most boring-est subject ever, if you ask me to swear,i would. I miss taking pictures in class/toilets. I miss talking and laughing with my bestgirls and at last get caught by teachers. Okay fine,i miss everything.

And yeap,went work with farihin. Lunchtime sumpah kecoh,macam nak sepak muke customer pun ade,really -.- I was angry at everyone,i think. Scold here,scold there, macam bodoh sia. Ika and nerd come my workplace, she wanted to buy, but akmal insist on giving free, he's always like that. That time farihin before working there,he also gave tiramisu cake free, haha. Ika, if i come pizzahut,leh dapat free? Lol. Manager ask farihin to clock out at 7pm, and i had to do closing with akmal and the others. It was great,cause i just sit and weigh salmon/mayo tuna/pasta and the others,lol. Stayed till 10.30 cause i watch them decorate cause christhmas is coming. Sia sia stay sampai 10.30,manager ask what ice blended i want :D and i ask for pure chocolate,lol. Kempunan sialxzx. So yeap, walked to mrt with nelly and akmal. Bought along 2 puffs,1 muffin,1 chocolate cake,1 orange juice with me, lol. Lantak ah, ape dorang nak bagi aku amek, hahaha. So yeap,reached home at almost 12. Feeqah ask me if im joining luqman,mus,shaq,ros lepak,but i was too tired.

And to this three. Just please,dont put high hopes on me. You're just putting me in a difficult position,dont you know that? And just be reminded that, i cant probably contact everyone in my life everyday. So dont say im pushing anyone aside,please. What i do everyday now, wake up, work, finish work, reach home,play comp and sleep. Thats what i all do,seriously. I didnt even do house chores like how often i did now,and i pitied mom,but whatever. To this one guy: I didnt showed any reaction,so please. You're the most putting pressure on me. Saying all those stuffs when you dont even know me better. What did you know about me? Just that im cheerful and loves to joke around like nobody's business? Just that? Oh come on. Love isnt about looks or having a gf asap,right? Take it easy. If you wanna back off after reading this, then up to you. I dont mind,really. Im off,bye.

Saying sorry is so simple as abc.

2008-11-18T01:13:00.003+08:00

Its 1.18am,i just got home. Case sampai rumah, on switch computer. I worked at 8am today,sampai keje kene cut lettuce la,cucumber la whatever all the gourmet have. Mengantukkan,seriously. Edward ask me to inform farihin to come earlier at 12, when she have to report at 3,so i called her. Blablabla, today's lunch time was ever busy. Till farihin left her ice blended station and make me do her station. So yeah,i was packing the muffins,when aries told me its already 5 and we rushed to redhill hq with feeqah to attend world of coffee class. Akmal was there, and we only change glances, and talk a little,macam tak kenal sia, but nevermind. Since im with my friends. The class is at 6 till 10.30, had a test whc i was so semangat till at the mrt im still checking my trainer's book. Hope ive done well though, i really wanna pass all tests, so my outlet crews wont look down on me, yeeeha! Lol.

Went back with feeqah,zahirah,wan and luqman. Had last minute plans to have our supper at mcdonald. Pikir due kali sia nak pergi, cause its alrd 11.30 by the time we reach admiralty, and mum already told me not to eat outside cause she just cook my favourite dish, ayam lemak padi (: Well,i just brought fries, and luqman keep stealing me and feeqah's fries,lol. But really, i had fun,alot. Thanks to this four people though. (: I really had alot of laughters today because of yall. Meet up soon okay, on saturday i think, since there's a tea class. I have work tmrw at 11, with farihin yeay. Im out, bye.

Pissssssssssssssssssssssseeeeeeeeeed.

2008-11-16T23:15:00.005+08:00

Wintermelon's not mine, i hate wintermelon, lol. Its tasha's.

Today is exceptionally great (: Since a long time i didnt go out with my girls. The first few minutes were akward,cause yknow,we have been having our bad times, quarreling and stuffs. I kept quiet, eventhough i know i had alot of stuffs to tell. But we did react normally after that, thank god. That time, i really thank god for having my girls back. I never felt this way for like 3 weeks straight? I miss you girls,still. As in, going out together, 6 hours of today isnt enough for me. I rather spent time with you girls than anyone else, sincerely. Met at 2,i was late and im sorry. Met at mrt, and went to wisma and search for farihin's dress. Thought wanna buy the black tube i took a pict below,its cheap 29.90bucks,but too plain,i think. Then blablabla, wisma's stuffs IS expensive,so i plan to buy at far east, went thr,ate at ljs, and went for dress searching again. Farihin brought her dress then me. Tasha brought already few days ago,i think. Then search for accesories at far east it self.

I spent a total of 72bucks altogether,including with my lunch and the food i brought,i ate alot again today. Counting the money i lend from mom , i think my pay's i'll get a little after giving 200 plus bucks of it to her. So yeah,i think i'll not be going out too alot after getting my first pay. What i know, after payday, i have a date with haiqal ^^ Right? :) Since we have our pay day at the same day,he asked me to go shopping with him , let's see how okay. So yeah back to just now. Met syafiq,unfortunately an ex of mine but is interested at tasha at the moment. :) Lol, then went back to woodlands, and he belanja me and farihin starbucks,cause tasha dont wanna buy anyth. Ask us to choose anything else, but nevermind, i brought this 6 bucks oreo cheesecake whc is so not worth it? Lol,but its nice. Then syafiq send tasha home, i send farihin at interchange,while waiting for someone to text me whether meeting anot,serious macam budak bodoh. Then, get to know tak jadi,met tasha awhile, she pass me earrings for prom and accompany her go buy food. When she went home , i wander around,cause i dont wanna go home early. Reached at 10.30 , and yeah, home.

Im still pissed,already told you,sanggup siah nak turun bugis bile dah sampai woodlands,just because of you. If its someone else, i bet i wont go. K whatever it is. Im done. Picts are below. There's alot,i know. K bye,im gg to sleep cause tmrw start work at 8am -.-

Planning to buy this but tak jadi (:
Tasha mengandung! (Anak aku)

2008-11-15T23:04:00.002+08:00

Right,i just got back from gourmet class,its half interesting and half bored. Half bored cause we have to stand through out 6 hours,listening to that jerk talking about how to cook pasta,sandwiches,breakfast sets and salads. Half interesting cause i made new friends,yeay! Had break for 20minutes, and im the only one who eat sandwiches and had yoghurt at 7 eleven cause i was hungry, the others only drink. Lol. Im like the big eater today. Break-ed with feeqah,zahirah and wan. And the other malays went to smoke.

So yeah, ate and ate at gourmet class,till i had stomach ache when i got home. Told you i cant grow any fatter. Went home with the same people i break with and i brought quakers cereal and orange juice, wan ask me why i like to buy weird stuffs,lol. I wanna try smth new, thats all. :D And i kept asking them "Is orange juice fattening?" And they say no, boohoohoo. Hahaha. So yeah, since wan stayed at sembawang, he tag us along. Went to bazaar with zahirah. And wan text to thank us for today,lol its okay. I know we rocks,LOOOOL. Sudah. Reached home, and mee soto is waiting for me now.

Maybe faris is calling, maybe not,cause im gna lay down after eating. Makan tido keje tido, tu lah kerja aku for 3 whole weeks nie, haha. Okay zahirah, this one's for you baby. If only you were......... Okay! I know the blanks. If only you were single, i hope you were mine, hahahaha! K sudah. We've been bitching about this guy we like.... Kay stop. Im out,bye!

Why did you say i love you when you know this wouldnt last?

2008-11-15T00:00:00.002+08:00

Sumpah muke bulat semacam,lol. Yes, no fringe,haha. As if i care, aku datang nak earn money bukan nak melawa,hahahaha. K no. Bukannye ade cute guys pun,paling2 akmal ah paling cute,hahaha k shh. Ok,yes i started at 11,actually have to finish at 7pm but since i love farihin and she ask me to symphaty her and stay till closing,i overtime for 2 hours. But then, we finish all our stuffs at 10.15 and reach home at 11 plus. Ughhh, tired like hell seriously.

Tmrw will be having gourmet class at holland village and me,feeqah and zahirah dont know where the hell is that. Just wait and see how things goes tmrw. Thanks god it started at 3,but will be ending quite late at 10pm,siapa nak fetch aku? K lol, talking about fetching, mimi randomly called me after so long didnt call me, and planning to fetch me from work,awwh lol. So random. And yeah, i wanna buy a notebook lah siul, mom say will get a notebook free if apply for wireless line , coolshit. Im gna see the notebook tmrw.

And to you.
I think ive alrd apologise for alot and alot of times for giving you hopes. I didnt expect things to go this way right,i already told you repeatedly. "You were different from the rest." And you wrote "the 1/4" Im not,really. You can make it without me. Try. Well, ive had enough of guys telling me im different from the rest, every guy is the same,kept saying that but who left? Them,not me. Dont act as if you're the one tearing cause you're out of love cause me myself leads a no perfect life,and ive got feelings like yours too. Love is hurting,i bet you know that. But really,ive take this advice "Move on if that someone cant have feelings like how you do to her/him. You wont gain anyth." And im still holding on to these.

Yesterday's pict after work,farihin's first day and
we went to mcd to have our supper.

I know this is unexpected fir. HAHAAHAH muke maintainnnnnn aje. Lol coffeegirl or what, this ass. Planning to wear a telekung and saying there's smth behind me, babiiii.

You dont even know.

2008-11-13T20:52:00.003+08:00

Jonas brothers <333333

Okay fuck you, i finish off blogging alrd, and i deleted it, wtf?!-.-

Okay and again, im tired, as usual. Im sorry farihin for not waiting for you, i just lack of sleep and im tired, my legs my legs ugggh! Cramp semacam,really. I didnt do closing , cause i started at 11, and i have to start at 11 again tmr, uggh bangun pagi-.- Lemah sia. Im tired of working alrd please.Another 3 more months and im gna try my luck to change to part time worker, instead of fulltime, macam sial ah hidup. I miss books , and i miss school.

And kepada sesiapa yang digelarkan "takde life." pergilah carikkan keje ke ape, at least dah dapat gaji boleh belanja date or what sia, serious. Sebenarnye refer to someone whom im not close to alrd ah but then, kalau terasa, ape salahnya heed advice aku and go fucking find a job and stop saying you dont have a life, life sucks or blablabla. If you dont have a life,then go find a life! Lol.

Two days, please move on fast, i want my off day, i wanna give my legs a rest and i wanna give my eyes some fucking 8 hours of sleep pun baik sia. Sunday going with farihin(confirm) and maybe tasha ( tak confirm cause selalu last minute cancel plan, lol. ) Kalau takde siapa nak teman nak carik benda prom night, pandai pandai ah carik dress sendiri atau ajak lah sesiapa, lol. Im still thinking of doing anyth with my hair, lol. Okaybest, nak pergi baring baring kejap, take care ah kalau tertido, tak leh ade phone calls tonight. Lol, and i miss ajie, you fucking come my house on saturday. K bye.

2008-11-12T23:54:00.002+08:00

Yes, humans have their bads and goods but at least they could have some initiative to change for the better right. Think,what makes people dislikes you? You can make people to love you, but you choose not to. There's a reason behind each person who dislike you,right? You choose to decide to quit everything,without thinking about your future,about what will happen and all. When im trying to kinda 'force' you to go to school and finish off your studies,i didnt mean for you to feel pressured. I just wanna see you succeed. But at least put some effort within this one month before you face your final's. If you feel pressured cause i forced you to attend your classes,then im sorry.

Im fucking sleepy now i think i never felt this sleepy before. Will be working at 11 tmrw, and farihin will start at 3,as usual. We had fun today,just that farihin was abit blurr. Well, me too,on the first week. Reached home at 11.30pm, cause we had supper at clarke quay's mcdonald cause i was hungry and yeah, homed. Im out, bye.

You.

2008-11-11T23:02:00.004+08:00

Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse. Im confuse.

And serious, from yesterday,i was pissed off by seeing couples everywhereeeee in the mrt. I was standing and there's a couple right infront of me. When the girl talks,and the guy will kiss her like every minute. Not jealous, menyampah -.- If i were that girl,tu bukan namanye sweet sia,seriously. Lelaki macam gitu, siak ah letak tepi pun baik,k no. Joke. -.- So yes, i cant stand it,rolls eyes and walk away and change my standing position. I think some of the people in the mrt saw my reaction. But,whatever. Menyampah sia-.- And today,there's another couple again, i just close my eyes and sleep duh.

So yes, i came work at 11, and its so hard for me to drag myself out of bed,since i receive this text but i read it at 5,and i didnt sleep till 7 plus,thats why i hafta drag myself out of bed. I did eb station alot today,instead of ice blend,its fun,just that takecare ah tangan kene air panas banyak kali. And tangan kopek2 kene bukak susu nye cover cepat2-.- K whatever. Actually i finish at 7,but akmal forced me to overtime. I did, 1 hour,for him. Lol. But i lazy wanna do closing so i just sit around,look at them,and listen to aries's stories,played psp,thought of waiting for akmal to walk with him to the mrt,but then nevermind,lazy. LOL. Bought brownie and cheesecake home. Brownie die steam,sumpah. And tmrw farihin will be starting work with me. Babe,come at 3. I'll start work tmrw at 1,cause im gg to the hq with zahirah in the morning to do out thumbprints.

Okay now.
If only humans dont have heart and feelings,wouldnt it be great? I mean, yeah its impossible. Im feeling guilty now, i feel like taking my words back but i dont want to. Negative and positive comments people told me about you, i just dont know what to do. Whether you have change from the old you, and have a more good attitude now,towards girls. I just dont know. I wanna spent time with you and all, but i just dont know. Idk if you still read up my blog. Wait, did i tell you i dreamt of you that one time? I think no, cause i forgot -.- I forgot what its all about,but i know you were in my dreams,eventho we barely met. You say "Its easy for people to say and ask me to forget you but its difficult." But you told me once you dont like people to know you're contacting with anyone and therefore you didnt tell anyone you're contacting with me. Remember? Are you twisting your words now? :/ Why are you doing this? You loved me? Prove it. You're longing for my voice thats why you called alot of times ytd? How many times have you ever did say that to other girls? See,i know you would get mad after seeing this,and say i dont have any trust in you. I know. Just one thing,why do guys are capable of sweet talks and only are good at it?

What aries,my phillipine collegue say is still in my head.
"I use to wait for someone for years. But now, fuck you. Dont want then move on."
Okay.. That really hit me.

2008-11-11T09:32:00.002+08:00

Just one, why do girls cry so easily? I just dont fucking understand.
Just so you know, after i read your texts last night/morning at 5,
i couldnt get to sleep again.

Thanks to this certain someone who cared to reply and comfort me.
I just.. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO.
Im feelings all sleepy now and i hope i wont fall asleep in the mrt later.
Bye.

Let's end this.

2008-11-10T23:07:00.002+08:00

Not edited, bitch.

Im fucking tired, and its already 12.10am, and im not asleep yet and im suppose to be asleep. Started work at 1, check check my schedule is 11am till 7pm monday till friday siul. Wooooo,yeay to the 7pm but not 9.30pm as always. But boo to the 11am please,uggh! Worked as normal,waited for akmal,check check offday sia him. -.-"! But nevermind, had fun at work today. Cause me and aries gossip about mardiana, thic girl whc acts good about everything. Serious,i thought im the only one who hate this girl sia. K nevermind. If im not tired tmr,i'll do overtime till closing. Since akmal's there. ^^v I just like his entertainment, k no. He's my favourite collegue,done. Bring alooot of coffeebean food sia, from muffins to puffs to cheesecakes to salmon sandwich. Lol (Y)

Ive found out something about you. Dont play with swear things please. Should've realise this. Okay, let's stop contacting. Not about i dont mean my words by saying i got a crush on you too and i did say i loved you. But neh uh, it made me thinking. I dont have time for dates and boyfriends now and therefore, i wont choose anyone. You or you, both of you. Im working everyday, and i think i dont have time for all this already. When i get back home from work, im just tired and lazy to entertain msges and calls anymore. Because? Im tired. Its not that i even have the intention to ignore you, and put you aside. Its just that im tireeeeed. Let's just say,stop all this things and get on with our own life, its the best for three of us. Move on and say hello to new life yeay! -.- No more hearing to my voice or have akward silence on the phone every night. Its great knowing you.

2008-11-09T22:51:00.004+08:00

Okay ive been in this blogger page for two hours i think,case lazy wanna blog but still i wanna post pictures,lol. Assssssss you can see, the smiles on our faces,thanks alot for today. Yeap,meet up at amk last cab. I wanted to play a trick on her but tak menjadi as i smiled when i see her. My trick was to ask "Who are you?" and give a weird stare when she approached me,lol. Confirm case paisey sia approach salah orang,lols. So yes, went to buy tix for the coffin,and go ate at kfc beside the mosque where i always eat with tasha. And i choose the exact spot where we sit, tasha. Aku miss kau bowdow. Lol. Then rushed to the movies back,coffin was boring,really. I understand only 1/4 part of the story,lol. Dont watch okay (: And fad have to explain to me the storyline when she olso understand quite a little. Yeah,wasted my 10bucks for the tix-.- Fad penakut eh please,lols.

Treat fad to snowice since she treated popcorn, and we slacked. Ok last, at the exact spot we sat, tasha,imy. Camwhored and she'll go "Baju merah tu macam cute sia" everytime she look at our picts. There's alot of picts to upload but i only uploaded some. Fad help me by tying braids for me but tak jadi,lol. We sat for an hour plus i think then we proceed to other places. Went to marina bay cause fad thought marina sq is at marina bay,grrr. Wasted my mrt fare,lol,cause have to patah balik. Then,search for fad's ripples slippers and earpiece. Fad wanted to find work and so,i as a GOOD FRIEND lol, i asked for her when due due malu nak mampos sia. Asked starbucks,and i started with "Hi,can i know if there's any job vacancy here?" I talked fast i think,then the guy turn to his manager and nod. Then he turn to me and ask "Adik ajie eh?" I nod, eventhough its weird idk him, dapat tahu alfee -.- Then asked at famous amous and then walk around till my legs are tired. Then went to have cupcorns,walk to mrt,hugged and go. Thanks alot for today babe. Meet soon.

And, afiq asked me to blog about him saying he's adorable and cute. Im much cuter please, hahahahaha. Self esteem tgh tinggi sia-.- Lol. And yes,kecoh pe gaduh kat bulletin? K bye! Im sleeping,cause tmrw working ergh.

Muke maintan eh fad.

Fad mata sepet.

I dont know.

2008-11-09T00:45:00.002+08:00

Everything's back on track again, thanks alot. Thanks alot to the tagger who tagged tasha's blog,trying to be me, and called her a bitch when i dont even have the heart to call her that.

So yeah, met zahirah at 8am and went to redhill hq to attend service class. Feeqah didnt came cause her workplace need her,so yeap there we are,sitting and hearing to lawrence talk. Went to break at macs at tiong bahru plaza as usual cause we miss burgers and fries. We gossip like what about _____ and _____ and the others,lol. Okay hint, two guys,lol. A pity that feeqah's not there with us. Class ended at 5, and feeqah called me to say she just finish work, tsk tsk, lol. And yeah, went to fareast , thought wanna just survey for saloon, but nevermind, i did my extensions,and i wasted 55 bucks, nevermind. It's worth it anywhoots.Still thinking of doing anyth to my hair,lol. I owe mom alot-.-"! Cause of prom.

Farihin came far east and she choose for me the extensions,cause dk whether to take curly or straight extensions-.- Then blablabla till 8 plus, took mrt, and went home and reach home at 10pm,around there. Tell me, how should i have the time to tag tasha that way? Pikir ah pikir,thanks. And yeah maybe will heed to movies with fad. Since ika cant make it,and jaja, i bet she's sleeping like a pig,call pun tk angkat babi kau!

And to you,i dont know what to do anymore. Serious. It made me think. About this. I still have a crush on you, but still, argh i just dont know if what im doing is right. Fuck it fuck everything. out.

Blablabla.

2008-11-07T10:20:00.004+08:00

Im tired of bothering about things, and therefore i wont bother about you anymore. Im tired of making things right,without th help of yours. It's like clapping with only one hand. Im making things right, yet you have to do this to me. He/she dont wanna change the attitude he/she have,what more can i do? What i know now is that im gonna work till december,attend prom and have my results and let's see whats more to come. Its your choice to decide how you wanna lead your life now,since im a nobody in it already. Oh,dont say im jealous you're with someone,cause its your choice now. Don't say i regretted meeting you up,its destined,its fate. I'll just appreciate what we got now. And so,i wont bother anymore,since you cant even show that you cared just abit for me. Thats what all i needed now,dont you think so? Go go. Go and do your things,and im doing my things alone for now.

2008-11-06T23:49:00.002+08:00

Grow hair grow,lols. Kalau gambar tak perlu this nowadays,please jangan tegur eh. (: Okay im tired and im on the phone, leher sengit macam ape sia -.- Lol, okay work was gerek today cause akmal came at last? Cus he didnt come for 2 days and yes,im lonely like what sia-.-"! Serious. I cant even smile and cause ytd i didnt attend work,collegues keep asking and touching my forehead if im having a fever anymore, padahal2. Lol. Then suddenly manager ask me why i didnt laughed as always. He ask ths, "Why that glum face? And why ytd didnt come? Quarrel with boyf eh?" Then i was like how thaa fuck he knows im quarreling with someone,lol. And fuck it, akmal gotta quit on jan cause ns sia, bad news habis habisan sia! But nevermind. Farihin went to my workplace to apply. And yesssaaaah, my boss let her in, sayang edward! :D And she'll be starting class on monday, baik or what! So yeah, i went on break, and we had mushroom chicken fusili for free,cause edward treat farihin as for me, i get free ah duh. Then slack and sent farihin to the mrt, saje jer,macam company bapak aku sia lol. When closing,accompany akmal go to the trash chute, and accompany him cause he wanna smoke, i just go and have a chat with him. Lol.

Meet afiq, fitri and mus up at raffles mrt, and went home with them. Well,thanks afiq and mus for sending me off home. And thanks for making me laugh. Manager asked me to wokr at 8am, do ot,kiwak siapa mau gi layan sia,paitao ah abeh. Ckp je boleh. Lol,im off,bye!

2008-11-05T14:35:00.000+08:00

http://idonthaveanyidea-url.blogspot.com/

Ive invited you.
'Someone',read it.

But you're already on your way.

2008-11-04T23:59:00.002+08:00

Gambar tak perlu ,i know. Rambut tebal,i'll be trimming it soon. Eyebags baik,rabak gile. And im still thinking of highlighting my hair hazel or putting on extensions. Since mom said long hair suits me,lol. But temp rebond is a must on prom,i hate wavy hairrrrrr. I cant wait for promnighttttttt. Lol, belom beli baju,dah ade hati cant wait sia lol.

Okay yes,im tired. And im sleepy. Im angry,and im confuse. All mixed up feelings in me, please eh someone,trade life with me. I dont wanna be me sia. -.-"! Serious. But nevermind,since im in this mess already,i need to sort things out and i need to think of smth to do. A solution,i need it really badly. For every problems i had now,i need a solution please. Thanks farihin for always listening to me,whenever i needed you,no matter how busy you are,ily. Thanks faris(classmate),for entertaining me,talking about loveshites,talking about not having any rs better,but still.. Ughh, idk lah babe. Ive talked things out with 'someone' but thats not all, he went offline just like that even before he answered my question. Sooo,nevermind. I just couldnt bring myself to believe your words,your blog. Cause ive had enough of guy's sweet talks? Yeah i think that answers all. You'll leave for sure, you're alrd talking about leaving,just now. I know its not your fault,im not blaming you. Ugh idk what to do anymore ):

And yes,you. I know our tiff has ended days ago. Im not raking it up again,but its just that we're still not our normal selves. Look at the way you reply me. Oh , dont say you reply me like normal, ive told you many times,i know you. You said sorry? By forcing yourself or? I dont know. Why wont you approach me and talk things out? Instead of saying sorry in blogs. Done.

True one stays,will you stay?

2008-11-04T00:50:00.001+08:00

School.Amk hub.(old)
Raffles. (not sure)
Fushan park.Fnb course.
The memories we had , will always be kept within me. I'll never forget anything. I'll never forget when i had the courage to wipe your tears when you're crying at fushan,about ___ leaving singapore. I tried hard to cheer you up, i send you back home to make sure you go back home straight,not doing any stupid things to yourself. You know i cared about you,cause i know you intend to do stupid things when you're out of love. Well, i do too, but im changing. I dont wanna put boys first. And i remembered when everytime i send you back home when you're down, i felt like giving you a hug,but i dont have the courage,cause im scared you'll push me away. I know you. I remembered you giving me a whole load of advice saying this guy and this guy and this guy is not meant for me and i deserve a better one. A whole piles of advices from you, whc apparently make me move on and realise. I'll never forget. And i remembered i'll dance while looking at clothes in shopping malls, without having any feelings people are looking. Your jokes, your laughters, your beloness,your everything, makes me what i am now,i love you. Believe me, ive cried for you alot of times, cause i loved you. But nowadays, you dont even showed that you care. Did you know i almost cried at work thinking about you? No. Did you know im stressed up over this matter? No. Did you know i miss you? No. And i believe you didnt felt the same thing as me. Cause i just felt that you dont love me like how you did. Like how we quarreled when we didnt meet for one whole week. Like how we quarreled when you're mad i didnt text you for days. I'll never forget anything. Now,i just realise youve changed, bit by bit. Yes,you'll say you're still the same. But thats what i think of you. Since you got other friends to love, then i dont mind ah. You told once you wanted to find new friends. I didnt object, i let you go. Eventhough i'll know you'll love another friend and gets close to her or whatever. No im not going to blame that person from taking you away from me. Its me,its my fault. Ive said sorry for letting off everything, from a to z, ive keep in me. Im sorry if it hurts you. Im so sorry. I expected a sorry from you at least but no there's none. Its your choice to come back to me as bestfriend. Really. Cause as i said, you've changed.
Fushan.
Ain's crib.
Otw go cwp.(yes,we're holding hands.)
Botanic garden.
Tampines.

Fushan.

Cwp.

Bus .

And to this cutiepiexzxz, thanks alot for the one year and how many months friendship, thanks for being there as always, alwaaaaaaaays. Tnanks for settling everything when we're in a tiff or whatever whc made us stayed this far. Thanks for the friendship. Sometimes i just wish i know you earlier. Thanks for the outings, and thanks for everything that you've taught me. Fashion and all,cause you're always the one who pick my clothes for me. Cause if i ask mom to follow me go shopping when i ask her yo choose for me she'll say "up to you." So i'll rather go shopping with you than mom, haha. The craziness and also beloness ive seen in you for this whole stretch of friendship makes me realise i love you more and more. Im really sorry if you've been keeping your "sakit hatiness" everything and you told me its okay if you keep it. Im really sorry cause i can be such an ass sometimes. So i guess im going to apologise if ever i did wrongs to you. I just want us three 's friendship to last,nothing else. You're the first ever person i camwhored while holding hands with, hahahaha. And the most funniest thing is that, when i went into your house and started to lie down on your sofa, your mom came up from her room and saw me when we dont even know she's at home. LOOOOOOOOOL. Well,i miss your mom though, hahaha. And i miss your hornyness and stuffs. I'll remember everything even if i'll be out of school next year. And i'll hope my bestgirls went into sec 5 okay. I know you can,cause i know you did studied hard,right? And i'll never forget cause you're always there when im down. And im sorry for all the tiffs we had, the misunderstandings, everything. Im just so sorry.
I'll promise and ive promise. I'll do anth to keep this friendship alive.
I love you two,alot. I miss you freaking hell much only god knows how i miss you two.
And you,i miss you alot. Come my house quick.
And a quick one,just that im sorry. I'll just say sorry now, you'll know later why.

Okay now,a proper update. My shoulder ache now and as usual im tired. I'll say "Penat ah buuuuuuuuu." each time i reach home, EVERYDAY when ive got back from work. And yes, i dont know why, but i think its moodswings. Akmal had his off day today and he didnt attend work, and i didnt even laugh at work today -.-"! Bodoh betol. Sunyi sepi sia. And collegues at work today sucks. I dont know its them or me being sensitive. Its just that they make me .. realise im stupid. Its busy during lunch time just now, and i did alot of mistakes. Cause as usual,i was blurr. Ergh, then i just feel like everyone us scolding me. And, when lunch time is over,i kept thinking about this bestfriend problem, this tiff, and it make me teared. And i excuse myself from the manager to go to the ladies. When i got back, manager asked me why im so quiet today. Ergh. I just shake my head and smiled. I just dont know what's happening. My life, its sooo.. sunyi now. Only two person is contacting me now. Ain and 'someone'. Really. Contact as in phonecall and stuffs. I just wish i can turn back time where we were all happy laughing,i miss bestgirls alot.

And yeah suddenly akmal approached asking a random question that day. Asking why my boyfriend doesnt fetch me from work. Lol, and when i say im single, he didnt believed me. Sampai kene "betul lah bodoh!" Hahahaa, terus sedih sia. So yeap, ive told mus i miss mus and he told me he miss me too. He's gonna fetch me from work tmr. I hope he can make it cause i wanna confide in him about everything thats happening. Confusions and all.

Guys who loved and left.
They calls me baby all the time.
They says they loved me bfr putting down the phone.
They promise me things.
But, they left.
Will you be one of them?

Im updating next at private,bye.

Im sorry.

2008-11-03T00:02:00.005+08:00

I spent my off day at home, sleeping like a pig till 3pm. Cause i watched manja lara on youtube till 6am. Yes, cause im having stomach cramps and i cant sleep. I hate mensus -.- Hafta face work tmr, gah im so tireeeeeeeeed. Ergh. Im missing alot of people now. And that includes first, mus. Ive told mom for like three times alrd i miss him like tetoteteteteeeet. Serious shite manxz, i dont know when's the last i met him. Okay, then i miss my friendsssssss and schoolmates like hell loads! I miss school especially. I feel like retaking n level and studied hard, but i cant rewind back time. But, nevermind.

And to you, ive already told you im sorry for giving you hopes, im sorry for everything, i didnt even mean to do things this way. And please, im not with any guy. If the intention to create a blog is just to blog and blog and blog about me, then for what? Wanna give me a heartache? Come on. Im tired of having tiffs with you over and over again. Im tired, dont you? I have alot of things to handle now. And wassup with sweet talks? You're saying he sweet talked me? And who's the loser now? You're saying me? Fine,im a loser,say whatever you want. And please, i didnt even say anything,not until i have the heart to say you're one pathetic guy, am i that mean? Well, you can say im mean for giving you hopes. Im sorry for staring at you, listening to you when you talk, sharing things with you, gets close to you,shares the moment of silence and cares for you. Im truly sorry that you're having "this" feelings when i hugged you. Im just so sorry. I know you loved me, but i just cant loved you the same like how i did for the past three times we've been together, or isit 4 times? I dont know. I know how you felt, cause ive been in your place. We shared the same situation, rmb? Im just so sorry.

My heart have been decided.

2008-11-02T00:05:00.005+08:00

Woke up at 7,but got bathed at 7.35am. Case bangun, capai psp sambung dj max siul, lol. So then, text the girls to wake them up and got ready. Met feeqah and zahirah,then proceed to redhill hq. The class was : Boring. Was expecting fast replies from 'someone' but neh,he replied once and thats it. ): Nevermind. Had class till 1pm and we rushed to tiong bahru plaza and ate kfc for lunch. I gave them 15minutes exact to eat, lol sorry i rushed you two. Cause i dont know why i dont even have the mood to finish my food like i always do. Zinger do makes me remind of someone. :/// Then went back and had class till 4 and we had our clothes changed. Feeqah met norman to the movies , zahirah and me went to survey for prom night dress at amk. We kept saying "Aku nak gajiiiiiiiiiii." Lol, cause we were oh so pokai just now but we did ate two set of meals just now,lol. Surveyed till 7.30 and went back woodlands to buy some food. Im like, addicted to lekor pendek already, cause the lekor is not like normal, k diam.

Went back at 9 and watched manja lara. Whoever calls,i wont pick up,cause that drama is sooo freaking make my buttocks sticks to the sofa, not wanting to go anywhere. Lol, and im gonna watch manja lara on yt after this i think. And now, afiq is freaking helping me alot choose things for promnight. Thanks alot. I think im more putting money into hair than dresses. Kecoh gile sia prom, really. Tmrw's off day,maybe i'll be sending my spare phone for a repair,okay right, the new one,cannot be on like AGAIN, sia sia 500 bux siol-.- Talking about money, my bill altogether plus last month's $205.90.Zangkaprek! Lol, but this month's is 85bux, baik pe. I happy sia if my bill 100bux and below. Lol.

And someone's handphone kana confiscate cause his bill 60, melambung ke tu?-.- Ugggggh! Bye la.

Im trying my best,not to put high hopes,like you ask me to.

2008-10-31T11:11:00.003+08:00

Hey, who says i wanna forget you? I didnt even say anyth.
You got the wrong idea. Its just that im trying my best not to put high hopes on you,
not that i wanna forget you. You and your "Dont put high hopes on me,okay thanks."
When each day you make me fall for you even more. Dont you understand?
Its not that i dont wanna talk to you, remember when i say, i wanna hear your voice before going to sleep. Well,i still do.

You made me think of you when im in work, when im having my free time, everytime okay.
Thats why im refraining myself from finding you too often.
Cause ive realise im who's always the one who finds you. But not you.
Where's your phonecalls asking where i am, have i reached home? Not anymore.
Yeah, i realised. Both waits for each other calls. You wait! I'll call you tonight,if im not tired.

I still fucking need my babygirls!

2008-10-30T23:41:00.002+08:00

I love you eternity babies, even if i'll be changing sch next year and
will not be spending much time tgt. Im sorry, if ive done any mistakes, i tend to
have some fucked up attitude sometimes. I love you two,really yes i do.
From the bottom of my heart. Please,dont let anyth break us apart.

I just have to stand this shit.

2008-10-29T23:06:00.005+08:00

Okay,ive decided. What ive decided uh? K no,weekends will be off days for me. But there will be expresso and brew class whc is 9-4.30pm. So maybe i'll be catching the movie,coffin after that. Im not that sure with who, since NOBODY wanna accompany me. Im not sure if mimi is free. If not free,pandai pandai ah carik orang lain. Then sunday,i'll find prom night dress by my own,or just survey around first. Kiwaaak, macam takde kawan siol (Y). Since farihin's not sure can go out on weekends anot. Ade bff macam takde lol. Satu tak leh keluar weekends,lagi satu macam dah tak exist. K no,lagi satu busy dengan date sampai aku ajak keluar pun kene sarcastic semacam. Kalau date ajak keluar, kiwaak laju sia setuju lol. What to do. At least for me,date nanti nanti sia lol. Bestfriends first,right? But nevermind,since her perception is not the same with me.

And one thing ive decided,boy. I wont find you till you find me.
If you feel like talking to me,then call me. If you feel like texting me then,text me.
But make sure you're not tired when you talk to me, i dont want any akward silence.
I have to be hard on my feelings.

2008-10-29T11:14:00.000+08:00

Yousucksbigtime,serious.
Im off to work,toodles!

2008-10-28T23:22:00.003+08:00

Okay this is breaktime,when i was bored. Sumpah coffeebean's chicken bolognese steam habis (Y). I ate, taking my own time,really. Lol. Did ice blended station the most today,but still i hafta do service ugggh. How i wish i wanna learn gourmet's whc is the kitchen's part or cashier. K whatever. Ika applied at my workplace,but im not sure of she gets the job,cause limit age is 16,i think. Thats what she told me. So yeah, today's closing was fast. Cause nelly came, and she does work fast. I love closing,cause they tend to sing out loud,while switiching on the songs in max volume and dance ,including the managers. -.- Serious,i just watch and laugh all the way.

Just a 5 minutes talk will also do,cause i only wanna hear your voice. ♥
And guess what, im thinking of meeting you up already,despite the fact that we had alooooooot of height difference lol. K bye.

Me/Nelly/Manager idk the name/Akmal.
Mind my sucky face,cause of oily face.Collegues.<3>

2008-10-28T13:59:00.001+08:00

I love you two,three four!

I love/like you.

2008-10-28T00:43:00.004+08:00

Gambar fresh, baru berapa minutes ago,sempat pe maya!

Perasaan yang sungguh malas untuk kerja tmrw! Ugggh k takpe maya,ingat gaji =.= Lols. So yeap,today was, dull. It rains in the afternoon. I read some things that buat rumah aku banjir-.-"! Okay hint, a blog. I didnt pick up some calls,cause i cant even talk? So,im sorry. Sarcastic,yet a truth from the post you updated. "Dont put high hopes on me,okay thanks." Thats the most hurtful things you've ever said to me,really. Maybe you didnt realise when you did say that. Or maybe i did say "You call me okay thanks!" always, and you did followed it. Ask bestfriend what will she feel when someone say that to her. Then she say "Duh,kecik hati lah, macam rude." Yeah,but you know .. Ugggh whatever. That what makes me go bath straightaway, cause i just wanna wander around,alone. just feel like it.

Took my phone whc i left with tasha last four/five days. And went to angmokio hub. Sit around,lazeeeee , bought snow ice,window shopped for prom night dresses. So yeap, i walked around till 8 plus and went home. Reached at 9.30 and watch tv and went online. Webcammed with lufee, do stupid things,printscreens and stuffs. So yeah, below it is. Im going off, maybe calling up "someone." And yes, why say those 3 words again if you told me not to put high hopes on you,im confuse,more than you do. Im done.

Step jiwe pe, ade headphone_|_

We challenge who smiled the longest.

Lol.

HAHAHA !

Ae you feeling like how im feeling now?

2008-10-27T17:40:00.004+08:00

Sarcasm wont solve things,baby. So,please stop throwing sarcasms at me. Im drifting apart from alot of people. Im not close to anybody. I dont tell my problems to anybody anymore. Of course,it hurts to keep all those to myself,but i couldnt find a solution to it. Since im not close to anybody,i might as well keep it to myself,right? All this problems, fuck it. Im not okay myself,how am i gonna cool insyirah down when i heard about the bad news about her boyfriend and her? Ugh. Diri sendiri tak boleh tolong,nak tolong orang. I just need you to understand. I cant stand jokes when im in a fucked up mood. Im sorry to those who ive vent my anger on,i really am. And im sorry if ive neglected whoever.

Im done.
Dont you feel it? We are drifting apart.

Ifmy.

2008-10-27T00:36:00.006+08:00

So,today off's day. Im freaking happy cause my outlet closed every sunday,cool i can have my rest day for today and tmrw,since its deepavali. But yes,im missing work already. But i feel like going out tmrw. Thoughts of watching 'the coffin',asked haiqal but he cant cause working,kesian or what deepavali working, he he he. Then ask mimi, everything's okay then i check the net, the movie coming soon -.- Zang kepada aku,yes. Ajie slept at my house ytd but came home at ard 6am, and went out from house at 4pm, i dint even have the chance to talk alot with him like always -.- Then met mom, and we proceed to boonlay to attend our relative's granddaughter's birthday. Look at the pictures below,isnt they cute? But i only get to take pictures with one of them. They are twins btw. So yeap,stayed there till 9.45 and off we went home cause i wanna watch 'pulau hantu' at okto channel. So yeap thats my routine for today. Im missing someone,fuck it fuck feelings,go away. I dont think you cared, anymore. You'll call me when you feel there's an important matter? I disagree, i want you to be like always. Calling me without any texts to inform me,just a sudden call. You didnt replied my texts and make me laugh,like always. I'll try to understand,you're busy with your friends. But .. nevermind. I wanna play dj max with you again otp. I wanna hear you sing 'gotta find you' since i havent get the recording. I wanna hear your 'Nak kiss...' with your voice that way. I wanna hear your 'fake' laugh whc i think its cute. Simple said,i wanna hear your voice. Ifmy.

And to you: I think im always the one who have to stand it with your behaviour,darling.

Ive got feelings too,for your fucking info! Up yours.

Hapyy birthday twinbabies.

2008-10-26T16:14:00.001+08:00

Okay, im assuming bad things.
Ergh imy.

Kept agreeing when the fact is that,i disagree.

2008-10-25T23:14:00.014+08:00

4 thinking,smth whc i'll never forget about secondary life.
Malay classmates,some missing.

Farrah.

Afiq bontot periok.

Ishqal.

That outing.

Mus.

School times.

Chatting with ishqal about leaving secondary,leaving friends,leaving teachers, easily said, leaving evergreen secondary school made me think back. Its when i look back at my different kind of folders i had in this comp,how we had outings with each other. Ive got loads to say,about secondary life. Ive learn really alot,losing friends,crying over the lost of friends,turning to new friends and shites and stuffs im lazy to elaborate. But really,secondary life taught me alot more than what i can think of now. Ive yet to talk about every one of my classmates,but thanks alot to everyone,for everything. Thanks for the advices you all gave me,if you did gave me. But thanks alot to nabilah,tasha and farihin. Nabilah,thanks for the 4 throughout years of friendship, i'll keep that in mind and ykno how much i loved you. And the other two babygirls, the crazy times we had, the downs we had with each other, i'll never ever eveerrrrrr forget.

I dont know how to speak more. How to elaborate it more in words,how i love 4 thinking,how i love my bestfriends,how i love my friends,how i love schoolmates eventhough we only tend to walk past,smile or wave and just go. I'll miss you all, promise. I dont really know if i can attend the chalet/pit whc you all guys have already planned on,but yup i'll try my best to take an off day from work on the exact day you all have planned. Sweet 16 is the best ever (: I love this batch,okay wait. All batch can? From sec ones to sec four,old friends included too. Cause memories are memories,i cant seem to forget those times i had with you all.ALL of you. I'll never forget how yall make me act as myself,laughing giggling or whatever,as in ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL of you guys, all batch whc im close with. So yeap,let's have fun at prom night, have the best night ever,get drunk and have sex later on. _|_ K no. I'll miss you guys,alot ))))))))))))))))))))):

Thats a sweet post you've got,'someone.'
Mayalicious sungguh tak perlu,yeap maybe you're right,from what you have say everything in your post. So yeap, keep going on this way.

Will you ever tell me why?

2008-10-25T01:41:00.002+08:00

Guess what,i still remember you sang this song on the phone that night. Despite of my short term memory lost,considered it quite lucky, k no. Im sorry,but i have alot to confessed. And yes,im equally angry with this person. I dont know, but ive given my fullest attention to you despite to those who ive not been talking to lately,im sorry. See,ive put you first in my list if i wanted someone to talk to. Cause i did told you i enjoyed talking to you. But please,understand and trust me. Ive just started work,yes i know, and i tend to get tired easily and dont have the time to talk to every single day like how we use to,and for that i apologise. And yeap, i got "new friends" whc you assumed ive exchange number with them,but no. I dint or, i havent. But they are just my collegues. I can't just stay anti social and not be friends with anyone at work,right? I dont know why you're reacting this way. You asked me to guess,but i didnt, cause i wanted you to tell with your own words. But yes,im totally dissapointed,cause you tend to say "I dont know" when i asked you why you're reacting this way. That what makes me fucked up,now. And itd already almost 2am now,ive promised i'll sleep at 1.30am. Im tired today having work and class at the hq thing,and you have to do this. You know imy,and i wanted to talk with you like always cause i dont have the time for you yesterday. But this has to happen. Yes,you'll be reading this. And i really hope i could receive an answer from you. You're giving me doubts. Okay probably i might fall for you already,but nope,you cant react this way as you please.

So yeap,i had work from 9-1pm cause i told the manager i had to pay for the promnight fees cause that's the last day. Im not quite sure when's the last day but whatever, im tired and i feel like my legs are cabut-ing. As in im fucking tired despite all those walking arounds. So yeap,went back home, changed,and went to sch with farihin. Saje je masuk sekolah pakai home clothes, sekolah bapak aku sia-.- Then went to town to acc ain survey prom night dresses and shoes. And met zahirah, got changed into work clothes and went to redhill,to attend the class,for the coffeebean thing. That explains why im tired. Im working tmr again uggggh,if only i didnt take full time _|_ ! Im off,not sleeping yet i think. Bye.

2008-10-23T23:51:00.002+08:00

Im fucking tired and i need a fucking rest and i need a fucking sleep.

I'll admit i ask mom to accompany me to find where's my workplace,cause im not familiar with the place. Starts at 1 but we went out of house at 11.25am. (Y)Okay,a hint on where my work place is : Raffles place coffeebean. So yeap, wanna find me go through all those malls okay. (: Reached there, i told mom im scared for how many times i dont know. So yeah, learn about some ice blended things with nelly. Then do service and all,i think im having alot of wrinkles on my fingers and my hands will become rough after this 6 months of work,confirm. Had break of 45 mins,quite long cause mcdonalds only 20minutes. Kiwek 45 mins sempat makan,berak,kencing,ulang alik gi ladies,isap rokok semue sia, k bedek. So yeah ate chicken sandwich and caramel ice blended. Gerek or what,can choose anyth to eat lol.

Then blablabla , watch them do closing. I didnt realise im the only staff girl till hours later cause there's only edward,akmal and aries. Cause many went home. Overall my collegues (Y)! Its 10.15 when i left workplace. When my time to go back is 9pm. I sound foolish when i ask the boss manager where the mrt is,cause the tunnel where mom instruct me to go through,has closed. Then this akmal,a new friend of mine, his friend sent me till the mrt,lol. Hehe. -.- Gatal pe siul. Mat motor sia, dapat pun baik ,k no. Ade satu date,dah cukup(: Imy btw, eventhough you called me when you're outside , but 5 minutes ape steam siul -.-"! But i did say thanks to akmal's friend for sending me, salam-ed and go.

So yeah i had this talk i find it funny cause this full day, i didnt act as me. I kept quiet for the first few hours. And many asked why im keeping quiet and all. So yeah here's the convo i had with akmal.

Akmal: Aku nak isap rokok ahh. *pause* Maya kau isap rokok?
Maya: Kau tengok muke aku sikit, muke baik sia.
Akmal: *while eating cake. Jangan sampai piring nie melayang siuul!
Maya: Haha boleh ah , aku tak pernah nampak piring melayang.

So yeap, i had alooooooooot of talks with akmal,aries,ruzanna,daisy and all. I talk alot more than i work today i think. Im starting at 9 till 5pm tmrw. And will have a class at rehill hq tgt with feeqah and zahirah at 6 till 9pm. So yeap, rase malas ade ah but commitment to work mesti ade beb, k go. Aku nak tido sia,k bye.

2008-10-22T13:42:00.002+08:00

Those three words,does it mean anyth to you? =/
Dont make me take everything seriously.
When you slept while talking to me yesterday,i didnt feel angry at all,
cause i know you did slept before that and you woke up knowing that ive updated my blog,
and you did read it. Omg.

Im nervous for the orientation today,hope everything turns out well.

Wish me luck people. Bismillah.

I love/liked you too.

2008-10-22T01:03:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was great,since its already 2.15am. I think i lack of sleep but i dont wanna sleep. Well, this work ive applied for,sumpah kecoh semacam,called us fr like a whole lot of times. I think im applying for part time. If there's no part time job for this coffeebean outlets they post me at,i think im not going for the job and going for a job hunt alone. Somewhere near ah please,cause i get to know every of my friends who applied for this,works at different outlets,and i thought we three are in the same outlet-.- Wtf. K whatever,i just hope tmrw will be fine,the orientation.

So yes,just now,went bugis with tashalien, then went to yishun to take the duplicate copy of my injection whc i had last two years. Ive forgotten where the clinic is,at first. And fuck,i wasted 5bucks cause i didnt get the receipt so i dont think the hq will be repaying my 5bucks tmrw,ergh. 5bucks boleh buat top up ezlink sia, k omg maya lokek -.- Went back to woodlands, had talks with tasha about love,random gile babi. Cause i dont understand why people must be in love when they know it'll end up hurting themselves? Then,met fuzz and we three had dinner at mcdonalds. Baik pe,perut aku dah down sikit,makan lagi die up lagi siul. Lol,then tasha acc fuzz go ntuc and i went home.

Went home,right in time EXACTLY when my fav drama starts at 9.30,whc is "Isteri buat suamiku." Lol, tension gile babi pig siah cerite,sumpah tak bedek. Case boleh maki maki siah depan tv,padahal tv tak bersalah lol. So yeap, watched, and many disturbed,alot of people called,izrul,syafiq(randomly,he say his thought came across to me),shahfiq ahh ahhh, text semue malas nak layan,except for one person :D lol sudah. Ishqal was being irritating sia, then i mnl ah part tu. Ask me why farihin's mad with him, how should i fucking know sia omg. Then had phonetalks,whc OBVIOUSLY disturbed my tv times,but nevermind,i did miss this person,for the first time, lol but i didnt tell. Lagu bila mau dapat siul?! Gotta find you aku mana? Lol, sampai rase nak give up siah mintak2 macam orang gile-.- Kay im off bye. I miss jaja and fadiana.

Fadiana,make sure get back to us after o's, miss you alot hunn.

Look at her legsssssssss!

2008-10-21T11:43:00.005+08:00

By liking someone, you got to face the consequences if your feelings cant be returned back. I feared,if im in this over excitement about liking someone,then that happens. Might as well,try not to have feelings for someone if you're scared of rejections,right? So yeah,i'll treat everyone the same now,no more no less. I'll try eventhough i know i'll be giving more attention to someone whom i like. Impossible,if this could go far. Its just a crush,its nothing more. Crush do fades. Well,maybe sometimes it can go far,but not mine. I dont know. Cus we dont even know how long this crush stays. What i know, i wanna stay this way. Hearing upon your voice before i sleep. Its my feelings,not yours. I'll hack cared if whoever prevent me from having this feelings. You made me feel that im just beside you whenever we talk on the phone. Asking for kisses(etcs on your fringe,on your sideburn),before sleeping. What i know i enjoyed staying up late and talk things with you. Evnthough i know we intend to stay quiet if our brains are blank and we dont know what to talk about. You made me fall for you more,dont you think so?

*chants. Its just a crush,it wont go far.
Im blogging at private's after this,since long i havent update there.
I wanna trash out about everything.

2008-10-20T23:38:00.006+08:00

Woke up at 12 afternoon cause Afiq fiqsion called,check check tertekan (Y) Zang,you disturbed my beautiful sleep but nevermind thanks though, your call wakes me up. If not,i'll be sleeping till 1 plus. On the comp , then bathed. Met the others at bns at 2.15 and yeah proceed to redhill to coffeebean hq. Feeqah went in first,then tasha,nasha followed by zahirah and last was me. Yes,last. I wasnt feeling nervous,but when i went into the room, my stomach was making alot of noise. I didnt eat anything when i left home,really. Then i was posted to the same place as feeqah and nasha. Tasha wanted to be with us but she was posted with zahirah. Kiwaaaaaaak jauh pe sia-.- So, orientation means accepted or not? Lol, i dont know, what i know our orientation is on wednesday.

We were pissed when they said we had to work full time and yeap,have to at least work 6 months cause its in a contract wtf yes,i know so ive decided to take ite april intake for next year since ive got no interest to be in sec 5. So yeap, we all decided to take april intake next year, thats our decision. Whatever it is, i just hope wednesday will be alright. Bismillah :D lol. I want job and important of all,moneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh badly,yes badly. So i wont depend on mom for prom night things whc will be approximately around 100 +. So yeah,i just hope i'll get this job. If not,then i want pizzahut siaaaaaaaa, cute siah the uniform lol. After that,went to novena ate at mcdonalds. It feels like fasting cause i didnt had any food till 7pm,really. Baik pe (Y) Lol yeah,then accompanied them buy clothes at cotton on,i didnt since i brought one top last two days,and i bet mom wont let me cause ive spent too much money on clothes already.

Then went home and yeap,havent even change clothes or bath,that someone called. Lol, im lazy to bath and he forced me. But whatever,i didnt lol yes say whatever i know im tired,and when im done with blogging,im going sleeeeeeeep. Tmrw will be,going to yishun clinic where i get my typhoid injection cause i did have it when im working at mcd last year. Have to get a duplicate copy of the receipt so i dont have to have another injection but i want siaaaaaa,lol. Then went to hunt for work pants and shoes-.- So yeap,see you guyssxzxz(feeqah,zahirah,nasha) tmr again aye! Thanks alott for today,i laughed alot. Im sorry i was bored just now,so i did took candidsxzxzxz. hehe.

And yeap to you: Thanks for making me being stuck in this guilty position,i know you want me to feel guilty,thanks alot.

Lol,changing room, tasha asked me to wear the same clothes and camwhored lol.

But she did buy that top:D

Case takde keje.

(Y)

Look at tasha!

And feeqah brought that skirt:DAfiqah menyibok eh please, last min join.

Sempat pe siul self timer tengah2 dunie-.-

Zahirah's missing.

At least she did give me a chance to feel tall, lol.

Baik pe.

Haha afiqah!

Fuck mixed feelings.

2008-10-19T18:37:00.004+08:00

Lol,stop approaching me saying my pictures are cool,cs photofunia is. Really,go meddle with www.photofunia.com. Can be entertainment,really. lol.

To this certain someone,
So yeap, those confessions of yours yesterday,made me agreeing by saying to myself,yes,im feeling the same too. I got a crush on you too. Be surprised,cause i didnt express alot on my feelings. Cause i know those crush feelings of yours will be gone,soon. Trust me on that. It happens everytime (: Im not gonna keep thinking all this will become possible,cause i know its impossible to happen. Only god knows what im thinking now. Ive promised myself im not gonna have feelings for anyone whom i havent met yet, but i guess i did. Yeah ive met you once or twice,but we havent even spent time with each other. Things started to change slowly. We started to talk differently, and dont ask why i talk in such manner yesterday. I just.. Fine,its fucking impossible. I wasnt joking when i said i did joke. When i say i treated you more than a friend, its more than a bestfriend. You made me smiled alone just by your texts. I d o n t k n o w w h y. I know you did read my blog, no matter how long my post is. And yes,you fucking owe me the song you did sing for me. When will i have it in my comp/psp, idk. Waking up,hearing your voice,cause you did called me to wake me up, starts my day cheerfully. I dont even know why im typing all this. I dont know if you're gonna approach me about what ive typed here. I still remember when you say " You can find someone better,someone sweeter than your ex date,so hold on." Smth like that. And i have to admit i did say to mom,you're the one who made me move on and get over ef. You gave me strength to get over it,well,a bestf of mine, haiqal too. But this one thing, made it impossible for me to think far. I dont want to,but it have always been this way if i have a crush. But im scared all this turns out to be a joke,to you.

And to another you,
i know you have already approached my bestfriend saying you wanted to patch up back and after all, i did say to you im lazy to have a boyfriend,cause i prefer this way. Talking to who i want every night,without having any quarrels after that. But im sorry. I did say the truth out. I liked you two at the same time,because you two have different kinds of behaviour.Ive told you i have divided feelings for you and the person above. Its just that, you had too high hopes for me till i feel like i have to talk to you till this way. I know you're dissapointed because you told me you're scared of rejections and all,but im so sorry. Its just the fact that this mixed feelings,i dont know what to do with it, so i guess, this is the best way. Im sorry again.

2008-10-18T18:08:00.005+08:00

Second update for the day. Just so you know, im over you. Yes, finally. You disgusts me. Promises are meant to be broken,NOT. Ive asked myself what do i see in you,till i go obsessed over ya. Just that, yeah looks. But nope, it really erks me to see you now. Lol, and i thought you were almost to perfect, long ago. Ive seen your bad, your bad looks. Well, any girl whose in love with you, will feel the same way as me. And yeah, you tend to give sweet talks eventhough you seem to say "im not sweetalking,im saying the truth. " Ok,that sucks. And yeap, what i love most about you, is that you tend to pull me into ya arms, and yeap, tend to do the things that made me feel like wanting you more. Cause you know what girls exactly wants,some touch. Well,i admit i like you because of that,but ive realised alot now. And for that, takecare jerk. Eventhough you tend not to care about what others think about you,you will,one day. This is life.

2008-10-18T17:02:00.005+08:00

Photofunia(Y) ! Woke up at 9am, sanggup pe siah setakat nak carik kerja -.- Lol. Then delayed time. Blablabla,faris texted me from 11 till now, 6 plus baik pe lol. Went amk for the interview a looooooooong one,with feeqah and tasha along. Then went to novena, brought a top from cotton on, sempat pe siul camwhore lol. Wanted to ask pizza hut but cancelled. Met haiqal awhile cause he's working somewhere there, kiwaaaaak putih pe siah dektu -.- Faris wanted to meet me but i reached woodlands already. Next time alright. Go make yourself short instead of 182 before meeting me up lol. Then went home.

Someone says he wants me and he wants me to use him,roflol.
Nyanyikan 10 lagu dulu :D

If you want something or someone,work hard for it. Not just to sit there and wait for things to happen. You hafta change yourself. Its not the ego thing, you dont seem to make things happen.Its not that you cant give in, its because you dont want to. Learn to give in to make it lasts. You seem to wait for him, to approach you, sitting all day infront of the comp, but you dont have the intiative to approach him. He too got feelings right? He too wanted to see if you cared,right? Ive really tried my best to be a good bestfriend but things aint going my way. You choose to handle things by yourself, talk a walk all around being alone,while ive volunteered to accompany you. Thats wont settled the problem,you wont make yourself at ease if you continue doing that. I might look like i dont care, but deep inside,you know how much i cared about you. You know how much i loved you,bestfriend.

[pictures]

2008-10-17T20:08:00.002+08:00

I meddled with photofunia and yes, i know this is common but cool ah lol. The outing to go find work is cancelled because we got another interview for tmrw's morning so yeap,im coming for that one. I rather work as waitress than promoters,lol. So yes, day's have been going on great. And i just hang up on tashalien. She's the beloest person ah can,i edited her photo and i send her the link.

Mayazeerawwwwwwwr. says:
EH SIAK MUKE KAU!
Mayazeerawwwwwwwr. says:
http://photofunia.com/view/4/w4MO9CIR-3LwCh75VQexFQ/
tashalien™ says:
aku tau
tashalien™ says:
mcm mane blh ade?
Mayazeerawwwwwwwr. says:
asal sia?!
tashalien™ says:
mane aku tau
tashalien™ says:
siape letak?
Mayazeerawwwwwwwr. says:
mana aku tau?
Mayazeerawwwwwwwr. says:
aku tgh scroll thru sia
Mayazeerawwwwwwwr. says:
abeh ada gambar kau
Mayazeerawwwwwwwr. says:
kau model pe sia?
tashalien™ says:
mane ade!
tashalien™ says:
during aku sec 3 je ade agency pakai aku jadi model dorang
tashalien™ says:
tu pn for 1 week je
tashalien™ says:
tapi tak pakai baju ni pun
Mayazeerawwwwwwwr. says:
yang first kedai tangs sia!
Mayazeerawwwwwwwr. says:
kat novena kepe ah
tashalien™ says:
mane aku tau sia
tashalien™ says:
siak aku panic nie!

I asked her to call me after that,i laughed like what seriously. Lol. Kebeloan betul. Thanks to farihin for the webby. Ok best.
Im not giving you hope right? Ive made it clear to you. Dont put high hopes.
Im out.

2008-10-17T16:28:00.006+08:00

[Pictures for graduation day]

Okay there it is. Normal routine in the counselling room till 10 and we had graduation day starts at 11. Okay,but it delayed. I slept cause there's a long talk -.- And im sad ,idk why cause im gna be in a different school as all my friends. Ughhh,i dont wanna think about this now, so yeap. There it is. Short update,cause im gna get ready later. To find work with feeqah and tasha. Will update again at night. Bye folks.

Idk why im having this feelings. I dont wanna think about it , n level habis nak enjoy siao ape mau stress sia, k go.

2008-10-17T02:03:00.004+08:00

Simei ite trip today was quite okay. My headache was (Y)! Mom told me ,i lack of sleep cause i played the comp everyday till 4am, and she say i can get migrain if i continued that way, Lol, i walked slowly to school cause pening rabak and tasha was waiting and we were almost late,and we had to run to the school gate. Bus trip was boring cause farihin played psp till batt low,and we had to hear to her songs in her mp3 all the way. Texted faris while on the way to his school,lol. Reached there,baik pe baru masuk kene kacau,lame really. Cara kacau that guy,approached me and say "Eh curik chocolate tuhari kan!" Then he points to his friend,wtf. Then had a walk around the school, ada budak hot nie siul, he's touring another school,lol. K go. =.= Then, we slacked at the cafe. Lol,i thought there's only 1 cafe and i got to know there's 3 cafe altogether lol k. Saw faris but i didnt approached, lol sorry. Then saw kak fynnie, and we talked awhile. We was late for the talk,we choosed pastry and baking or whatever the name is but we're late for 10minutes cause we have a hard time finding the rooms.-.- I took the courage to open the door alone cause no one dares to and guess what,there's a whole load of number of people inside,whc is from other schools. And all of us tolak tolak satu satu sia masuk. -.- Poeple look at us like what.

The talk was fcuking boring and we only stayed there for 5 minutes. Lol then we went off. The lecturer stopped talkiing when we were on our way to the door,probably wondering why we left the room, but we hack cared. Then slack again and assemble and took a group photo. Counsellor didnt let me post on the net wtf lol but the picture is at yan's handphone,lol. Then had our bus trip back.Slept,and reach home and slept from 1.30pm till 10.30pm, faris say i slept like a pig, baik pe. Lol. Then yeah,talked with him and onlined, im off cause ajie wanna use the comp. Okay go. Mind kecoh picts. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

I feel like kissing you when i lean on you.

2008-10-16T01:22:00.004+08:00

Im sorry, im tagging along with what we did just now. I dont intend to think beforehand. And now,im scared. You're putting high hopes on me. Started to put pms like "No one to anyone." You're someone to me. Just that,im not sure of my feelings. I dont know how my feelings are. Ive said that in my previous post i think. The times we had yesterday and today, it made me remind about the past,so much. Cause everything's the same,and let me say this. I miss all of it. Just that your maturity grows abit since the past three years. I need more time to think,i dont wanna have any regrets,cause i have mixed feelings. Your heart's fragile,boy. How should i say this? You started assuming stuffs. You assumed what we had just now was flirting when we didnt. I just dont really know how to explain this feelings. Im comfortable with you,yes. And bestfr told me,we should have known and understand each other's feelings since we had more than three break patch throughout the 4 years ive known you. And im not afraid to say,ive known half of you, almost. I know how you'll react to what i said and all. That never changed,a single bit. Yes,i admit you're my first love, and we're totally not over each other yet since the last breakup last year. Just that we moved on and have our own dates, and got heartbroken, having the same situations and yes, get back together like this. Its like,repeating. Thats why im scared,i feared the same thing happen again. But thats not it,mixed feelings i had. :/ Okay fine,i admit the looks and glares or whatever i did, its different. Its not how normal how i stared at someone. The laughters i had with you till my jaws are tired of laughing too much. It really made me remind of the past. I need more time,i need time to ensure who i really like, and whether i wont have any regrets. Im not saying i'll regret if im with you,but yes, idk how im feeling now.

Feeqah,cheer up please. Life have to still go on. I told you i'll be your listening ear anytime,right? But seriously, when you told me the stories about him and all, i almost shed a tear. Cause i couldnt believe it. Its like my first time listening to you,your cries. Its fucking sad seeing you this way,swear. Im sorry i couldnt talk alot, cause i was shocked myself hearing the news yesterday. And it made me thinking,till i slept at around 4 plus,eventhough we hang up our phone at 3 plus.

Summary for today.
` Bgr talk at counselling room was okay,but the second part was boring,
so i dose off,cause its about sex =.="

`Played this game,guy's group lose,and kena forfeit. They had to dance. And yes, taufik over reacted dance and slide on the floor,whc made his pants koyak,and everybody lol.

` Rushed, and mus came my house because he say there's no one at his house to iron his baju kurung for him, and yeap, had jalan raya as usual.

` Jalan raya wasnt as fun,cause only 11 attend,and we didnt captured any picture.
Just one,me and fadzlin's pict.

`Afiq wanna meet me up cause he's at republic poly whc is just beside my house.
So yeah, met him up at 9.30pm at northplaza.

` Never did i expected we lepak till 11.30pm (y)! BAIIIIIIIIK.
Told mom the truth,and guess what,she didnt scold me.

` Had guy's talk with mom,and thats the reason why i onlined late. Lol,mom asked me to take someone older than me. Roflols. And thanks mom for listening throughout. I realise i told mom almost everything,about who im contacting with and all,everything!

` Went onlone,and currently chatting with afiq,deeyan and insyirah.
I miss deeyan and we'll meet up soon bby, imy.

`Will be having a visit to ite simei,kental or what k whatever i hope i'll be enjoying myself tmr. And idk if im accompanying afiq to polyclinic,cause i told mom alrd. But we'll see if i have enough time.

Bye jerks.

2008-10-14T23:59:00.006+08:00

Tasha choose this pict for me to start off the update with. So yeap, school was fun today. We slack at counsellor's room all the way,there's about 20 people i think. A mixture of academic classes. Not many,cause some choose to go for the study program. Ughh,tell me. Siapa mau gi belajar,siapa mau gi sec 5 siul =.=" Maybe you,not me. Counsellor gerek gile, she realise everyone was not energetic and she made us do watermelon taichi, whc at first i thought was lame,but really, that make me wake up cause i laughed alot. I laugh alot nowadays idk why,eventhough things seems not to be 100percent right. So yes,we had this somekind of weather moodmeter,whc we have to tell eveyone there plus using the mic. Siapa mau gi layan, malu siul. Im nervous when the mic came nearer to my turn,and i already planned what to say. "My weather is sunny today cause yesterday i quarrelled with someone over a small matter,but im happy we're okay already." Lol. Yeap,im happy. But when its my turn,i said smth else-.- a short one. And when counsellor ask tasha why she came for today,tasha answered: Cause i wanna eat the laksa in the canteen,and everybody went LOL-ING at her,including me of course. Im not even over my laughters when 5minutes have passed. Lol. Had recess, tasha had her LAKSA ADD CHICKEN ,and we watched goal till end of school. It's fun really. I wanna attend tmr cause there's a bgr talk lol. Should be fun cause i looooove talks about teenagers.

Walked home, get changed and went to meet my girls. Off we went to town,went to taka and applied for some jobs. Went to "interview" whc wasnt an interview,im lazy to elaborate about this tangs part. Lol,and im so sure we couldnt get any part time jobs at tangs,so yes. Went to lucky plaza i think,and ate nasi ayam penyek whc cost a bomb and it was not worth it,cause the sambal belacan is more to spicy and i cant stand spicy food,i can feel my teary eyes when i ate the nasi ayam =.= Doh, then met ishqal to accompany farihin to survey her guitar at penin. Then went to harbourfront with tasha to actually apply for pizza hut with nabilah,yan and hamzah whc already work there. But nope,manager said they need morning shift workers. How am i gonna work next year if they need us in the morning,think ah,duh=.= Apa lagi,walk around vivo and went to bugis and after round and round of walks,me and tasha bought the same kindaf small bag,so yeap. And guess what, there's already more than 4 strangers whc said i and tasha look alike,lol.

Went to adm,met fuzz and tasha was nervous cause its her first time meeting him-.- Lol, ada orang tu hyper siao text aku. K,fuzz was alright,at least he talked to me without being a stuck up and stay quiet. Text afiq to meet him up,and he ask me to wait at bns cause he dont wanna bring his hp-.- Reached, and waited for like 5 minutes, and yes there he is. Aww, sucha long time we havent had spent time this way together right? Then walk around my neighbourhood,no fushan park of course-.- Fuck fushan park, fuck memories. Thought of buying bubble tea but nevermind,lol. Peh malas sia. Then craaaaaap under this block near to my void for nearly estimated an hour. Talked about 1372837289347 things, lol. Thanks alot,for accompanying me,yes again im thanking you. Sent me home,and yeah goodbye. Thanks afiq,i have alooooooooooot of laughters.

Let me state this,
I felt something different when we had our eye contacts,i d o n t k n o w w h y, r e a l l y. And believe me,my hands were cold and im nervous when i wanna meet you:/ I dont know why too. But i couldnt bring myself to have feelings for anyone. Or maybe i had this teeny bit feelings for you,who knows? Sometimes i wonder, i dont understand guy's feelings. They way they had sudden feelings for me. I didnt even do anyth or say anth that would have the possibility that makes you fall for me. Unless we had late night talks everyday and you begin to miss me and feel there's a need to talk to me,just because you feel like talking to me and hear upon my voice.Rejections? Everybody is,scared of rejections,not only you. I dont wanna lie to my feelings anymore. But i dont even know how my feelings are,yes,fuck it. I dont know who i like or maybe i dont like anyone.

Eyebagxzxzxz.

And fuck it, if this someone dies,i swear i have no regrets. You're the most worthless guy i have ever met. Too late to regret? Yeap,maybe. But who cares, i just want you out of my life,yes. Aku tak kesah pun kalau kau mati,really. K bye.

2008-10-14T01:03:00.008+08:00

Its late yeap,its 1.30am and here i am doing my update. Ive promised Tasha i'll come for freaking school later since its finishing at 12.30pm everyday, then i'll fuck care,come school and watch movies then go back home. Lol believe it or not,im nervous for tmrw's interview at ___. Me and my girls went for a job hunt but its more like a window shop. But really, we get one application form, but im not up to sales,im not interested. I rather work at some restaurants. So yeap, if im not going for this interview,pizzahut would be okay. Since there's this certain place my friends, 4 of them are working at, so that would be so fun if i get accepted for the job. But yeap,i can't be too early excited,right? Who knows i get rejected cause im too short or smth,lol. Who knows..

So yeap, i have a quite a fun day. Cause really, there's this part where im irritated by idk what, and i feel like shouting and scolding at someone without any fucking reason. I lied to babygirls i had stomach ache, when i didnt. (y) Its so rarely we had outings like this, the three of us. Ada je alasan masing masing. Ate at cahaya restaurant at far east. I ordered hokkien mee,while my girls ordered claypots. Then thought of meeting shahfiq and the others cause they're at skate park but neh uh, cancelled.

Train journey was full of farihin's blabbering of stories,and i cant hear songs,lol. She talk aaaaaall the way, and me and tasha being good listeners,just listens to her stories. Im sorry farihin,things have been difficult for you but really, you shouldnt keep it hanging this way. Tried talking to you but there was to no avail. Okay im out. Gonna finish up my chats, and textings with farisssssssss but he's busy playing his dj max cause he say he wanna challenge with me. Im just a beginner for goodness's sake. I owe faris one outing,since he wanna meet me.

And yes,im angry at someone for overdosing himself cause simple: I cared for you.
I had no feelings for anyone so dont freaking assume i like him or him or him. Bye.

2008-10-13T01:33:00.003+08:00

Takde mood nak blog but ada rasa nak blog,paham? Lol.
And yeah, banyak ckp aku tak tau senyum,senyum tk ikhlas,eh?
Okay go.

2008-10-12T11:31:00.004+08:00

I dont understand why,people kept saying i can't understand them but the reason is ive tried hard to understand them and put myself in their place,and feel what they feel. And still,people have been complaining i didnt understand them. What dyou expect more from me? Ive tried my best,to be a bestfriend/close friend and a friend itself. But i just couldnt probably entertain all at the same time,i cant divide my time for aaaaalllll of my friends,right? I realise,i didnt spent time with some of my friends,and im sorry for that. I had like alot saying "I had new friends and i left the old ones." Up yours,its my life. And i know what im doing. I wanna keep my old friends and i wanna widen my group of friends at the same,is that wrong?

Ive always advice people but i cant do better myself. Its like,i helped people but in the same time,im drowning myself with my problems.If you think you're not there for me nowadays,then up yours. I need you real bad,but you're not there.Ive been stressing myself up. If "you" who will be reading this,cause i know you checks up on my blog. I just thinks im not ready for any relationship. Since you say its my choice ,im the judge to accept whoever,then this is my answer. If you think waiting will be the best way,then its up to you. I really dont know,how long it will gonna be this way. I just dont feel like having a b o y f r i e n d. Yeap,thats the thing. Since im having conflicts with my own bestfriends,i cant handle everything iat once. Im scared everything will repeat itself. I have no time for my boyfr,and breakup happens. And if i get attached for now, i must stop whatever im doing now like having late night talks with a couple of people till 5 and all.So yeap,can say i rather stay this way.

If you this you're gonna go seperate ways,then its okay. Its not fine with me but yeah,the decision is yours,really. Im out.

2008-10-11T22:21:00.008+08:00

Here are the raya picts ive promised.

Tak perlu siao songkok.

Ishqal's house.

Cute siah mus,lol

Farihin's house.

Zahirah,nasha.

Azhari's house.

Mus farihin.

Mus.

Fadzly,azhari,ishqal.

Mus faris.

Aref zaki.

Ishqal.

Haziq always sleeps-.-

I owe you a kiss? (: Muahaha.

Nabilah,maya,mus,izrul.

Zaki's house. I was sleeeeepy.

Farihin.

Aref zaki.

Azhari's.

2008-10-11T19:20:00.007+08:00

Aww picture perfect,thansk to ishqal's parents.
And look at mus's face,cutenye. Lol.

Ughh im having cramps now. Believe it or not, its already 7.22pm and i havent even had any proper food since the whole day. Okay,not proper food, i havent even had anything since morning? Okay thats it. Can't be bothered with my stomach,cause for me,sleep is more important. To both afiqs, and nabilah, im sooooooo sorry for not tagging along the jalan raya today i know yall' expecting me to come along. The thing is,i woke up around 11 plus, when the meeting time is 12pm. (Y) And i was too tired to even text anyone to inform im not coming,im so sorry. I was too tired. I slept at 5am ytd,due to talks with faris and yup, thats not the reason i didnt tag you guys along. The tiredness was from the jalan raya i had with my classmates and etcs. Whc ended at my house, cause mine was the last and it ended at err around 1.30am.

Raya:
Pictures will not be up yet. We only took a few shots as we were busy walking around the neighbourhood, and busy eating and etcs we havent had time to take picts with each other. But there's a few. Farihin's holding on to it I'll promise i'll upload it asap,incuding the pict i had a songkok on =.=' lol. Kaybest,we went to 13 houses,i guess from 3.30pm till 1.30am,excluding my house. The thng is i woke up at 6am to cook mee rebus with mom for my friends whc are coming,cause mom goes to work at 7.30am,lol. Then i had to clean up my house and all. Zahirah and me was fighting over faris to be pairs,lol. So yeah,alot came, not only classmates,some are not, tags along too. Total was 21 people,and it was full house. But yup,i had fun,alot. Told nabilah i wanna eat alot on that day but i only ate like around 5 houses,lol. Favourite was at aref's house,roti perancis and curry daging lol. I tambah like alot,around 4 or 5 times. Some went home early at around 11pm,that was farihin and nasha. But syafiq joined us after that. Baik pe,mataer dah balik baru nak join,kebeloan lol. Kay stop about jalan raya.

My replies:
First thing first, sweet post you've got there,eventhough i know how sad you are at that point of time. I apologised cause i dint know when i was having my laughters at the outing raya ytd,you were alone at Amk hub thinking about our past times. Im sorry,i dont even know. But i dont really understand why you had to react that way, we didnt even quarrel or anything. But when i tried approching you at msn, you short replied me. You prolly know how much i hated short replies. Malas nak layan cakap malas nak layan. But yeah,you dont even had the intiative to ask me along,i'll accompany you. Dont lie,its not a random post, dont tell me you're thinking about me,so you did that post. You did think of me all the way,right? You did cried when you were at amk right? Cause you're giving a hint. Zinger meal and an exchange of milo ice is my favourite meal at kfc. But that cinema part,i thought we go with suriany and fee? Haikal got? Lol,i dont know. You always had sudden moodswings till i dont know why you're reacting this way.

You started to have a hobby ,whc i tend not to like about you; walking all around alone,like you didnt own any friends. Like a loner. People will say "Where's her friends? Her bestfriends,whc always accompany her to wherever she go? Got new friends already?" So yeap,thats the reason why i dont like. You got two bestfriends,whc will always be here for you. Why walk all around alone when you had two precious bestfriends. Im thankful you realise how much i meant to you,i know how much my bestfriends mean to me too. Lastly i miss alienette. ):

I miss having snowice along the railing beside the roads.
I miss watching movies with you at amk hub,especially the leap years.
I miss walking all around amk hub, with both of my girls.
Those were my precious moments,
i wont forget anything eventhough we'll be seperating schools next year.
Thats a promise im making starting now.
None knows how much i love you two. Idk,but i love you two more than a bestfriend.
None to the extent of what you think you guys are thinking now.
But yeap,i never had love any boyfriends of mine more than them.
They were always the first,on my list.

2008-10-09T19:56:00.004+08:00

Im out of pictures, and i know i look fat here lol. Currently listening to sorry-jonas brothers and don't forget-demi lovato,repeating alotalot of times. Sedih pe hidup dengar lagu gini,lol. Especially lagu demi, macam siak ah lyrics, benar ah benar lol. Till i recommend it to jaja and afiq-.-"! Lol. Thanks to farihin for letting me hear the songs.

Speaking about today. Farihin came my house at err 10am,cause she just finish her dnt paper and yeap, slacccck. I was so sleepy. Cause i slept at 6am plus ytd due to talks with faris otp,lol. I slept while she played the comp. Idk for how many freaking times she shouted my name saying "Mayaaaa! Cepat lah bangun!" And how many times she repeatedly went into my room and to the comp,i dont know lol. Alot of times,i guess. But i just ignored. Slack, laughed at some pictures, seriousshite. Aku dengan muke busok aku, belom mandi ada hati nak ketawekan orang nye gambar. Candid pics (Y)! Lol. Especially raya pictures people upload alot this days lol. We laughed like what,serioushite. Then we irritate haiqal and all, lol. Then i went to bath at 2 plus petang and then kemas rumah all,sumpah rumah berselerak macam kandang babi aku tak tau ah ape ape nanti aku kemas kasi habis pasal besok kawan ank datang raya lol.

So yeap, went causeway cause farihin wanna survey for guitar woaaaah banyak duit lah kaaau, bagi aku sikit boleh? Sikit je, 100 pun cukup, tak bedek. Nak belajar then beli guitar ): K takpe, ibu ada buat apaaaa kan lol. Eventhough she said " Takmo mintak ibu ape ape lagi eh,dengar tak?" after i get my psp lol die ckp tu berapa banyak kali idk sia lol tapi tetap belikan benda lagi lol. Pandai pandai ah bodek, nak beli guitar. Sweet talk ke ape jadi uggggggh! Then went to eat at cavana,and then went northplaza bought my mee rebus ingredients,maybe im gonna cook mee rebus for classmates who will be coming for raya tmrw. Then farihin went home and i went to woodlands lama to ask whats wrong with my handphone cause cannot switched on. Gave me a new charger,aku happy pasal dah boleh on lol. K then went back home and online.

And yeap, dj max mus copy paste kat aku ada virus aku dah delete sedih pe ))))))))))))): Idc, ajie please come my house asap,i want gamessssssssssssssss. Kaybest. Harapkan diner dash aje ah eh.

And yeap to you who confessed: Im sorry, but its not just the right time yet. I need someone to explain to me what true love is. Ive gone through love pretends,loveshites and all. Soooo, its hard to gain it back. Dont assume,ive moved on. I just dont feel a thing to 'him' already. Its just not worth it,i deserve someone better. But yeap, currently idk why but i just dont find relationships meaningful. It errrrrrrrks me to see couples outside. Seriously. Soo, if you tend to know how to explain to me what true love is, and promise me you'll love me better than the previous, then i'll consider. Idk for how many times we break patch-.-"! Lols. And this is to anyone,who DID flirt with me or anyone laaaa who eventually had this things called 'feelings' for me. Ifffffff ah eh.

Im out, cooking dinner for mom and yeah maybe will be talking otp with anyone. Cause faris sometimes calls up so sudden, mimi too lol. Im so use to sleeping at 5am lol, all because of faris. So yeap, have a nice day yaw.

Please come back, the old you. Not the 'now' you.

2008-10-08T23:08:00.003+08:00

Thanks alot tasha, for the birthday presents. Quite unique though.
:) Thanks for the card too. Thought wanna give you a kiss hahaha lols.

And guess what, im attached.
Blissfully....

For three days.
Lol! We're gonna break up on friday.
Lol, its suppose to be a joke though. Bye!

2008-10-07T20:01:00.002+08:00

Today's like a normal day. I want an outing with both babygirls but tasha lazy to go out today ): Nevermind,meet you during friday then. Met farihin at woodlands cc since its near my block. Then heed to the interchange and take bus 969 and went to tamp. Boring ride eveeeeeer. Farihin listen to songs on my phone and i listen songs in her mp3. Cause im bored with the songs i listen to everyday lol.

Reached tamp,went to century square and tamp mall and search for farihin's platform shoes. TALL playform shoes,those like model's one. Zomg, i think if i wear those kinds,i'll trip and fall lol. Went to a few stores and decided to eat cause i was feeling sleepy and hungry since i havent had anything to eat at home. Got sardines whc i cook yesterday but i cooked it more spicy lol. Step boleh tahan pedas,padahalpadahal. Ate at qiji's, and the nasi lemak was nice, farihin had mee siam. Then farihin bught her platforms and yeah, thought of buying starbucks or coffeebean but we both wanna save up and plus, we were so full.
Bus-ed 168 till woodlands and yeah,home. Im trying hard to download dj max from the net. And im currently stressed up =.= And yeap,thanks mom for the pink psp and she bought one for ajie too,whc is minty green yesterday. Okay woah, both at once. Thanks ajie, for phyco-ing. But yeah,i have to at least pay her 50bucks so yeah duit raya dahbes yeay =.=

Mus's coming my house tmr if i havent get the dj max game. Ergh hope i get it by today, mendak sia. Im asking mimi to try send,lol insyallah boleh. Kalau boleh aku peluk cium dia siaaaa! =.= Lol. And yes to 4 thinkings budak budak melayu,jalan raya friday 215pm depan sekolah tersayang evergreen lol. I'll text yall again lata. K bye. <3

2008-10-06T13:43:00.004+08:00

Ahhhh! Ahhhh! *screams.
LOL,cute or what. K joe jonas, i nak buat perjanjian yang you akan sentiasa di dalam hati i buat selama lama nya. I got not enough sleep and yeah the phonetalk semalam drag till 4 plus and ajie left me alone talking in the living room when at first he ask me to dont sleep first and accompany him play the comp. Check check dia masuk bilik hit katil siul. K nevermind

Jalan raya,well,i dint go cause im the only girl lol. And i get to know someone last minute follows haaaah! Okay nevermind, then next plan was to go tamp with farihin cause she really wanna buy this shoes she aim for. Suspect kasut platform ah=.o Tak habis habis ah kau,lol. Then hujan lebat till i cant see through my windows,plan cancelled. Maybe will be going causeway or woodlands lama with abang and ibu cause ibu wanted to buy a new psp for ajie,fuck it. I didnt get ): Ugh, n level please ah kasi aku pass aku nak psp lol. K bye, ajie sibok nak pakai comp. Lol have a nice day.

Im moving on at last?

2008-10-06T00:30:00.005+08:00

Bestnye dapat upload gambar raya at last! Lols. -.-Went out from home at 5 with ajie and met mom. My ears was being irritated cause of the big rings of earrings,lol first time i wear macam eww? Oh right,mom told me im the same as her,cant use fake earrings,can only use the real earrings such as gold silver all,lol thats why im having irritatance of ears or whatever it is. Cause my ears will go red if i wear any earrings. Heed to amk,went to kakak fynnie's house. Visit grandad,im so happy he's getting well and have gotten his memory back yeay. Serioushit,im happy. Ask for forgiveness and amek duit raya and gone.

Went bukit panjang with kak fynnie along. Slack,eat till 11,talk abput crap things. As usual grandma ask me to take care,always with this quote. "Mataer mataer tu boleh tapi kene jaga diri tau." Omg,i know la ,lol. I just nod all the way,cause i know i wont go over my limits. :) Then cab till home. Kak fynnie cab home alone cause she cant sleepover at my house ): So yeap,now ajie is nagging, he wanna use the comp. Ergh. Whatever la,i think im going to sleep after this is faris's not calling me. IFFFFF he wants to. So yeap,idk if i wanna go to tmrw's jalan raya with qal. I'll be having cooking sessions with mom i think. Ive tried cooking ayam masak merah that day already and it turn out sedaaap. I was freaking happy my cooking my family members habiskan siooool. K best. (Y)

There's one time when i was resting with mom in the bedroom and she out of the sudden biru sa,advice me.
Mom: Kalau lelaki tu dah tak suke ngan kite,jangan terhegeh-hegeh tunggu dia atau suke dia. Nanti dia mengada ngada.
Me:Asal suddenly siah ibu? And macam mane ibu tahu adik dalam situation nie? *puts on a curious face.
Mom: Kalau boleh cariklah yang beriman,boleh ajar adik.
Maya: Ibu,im only 16 for goodnes's sake.
Mom: Ye laaaah,ibu cakap aje.

Rambut sebelah hilang ah.

HAHAHAHAHA!

She ask me to took this so i did,lol.

2008-10-05T01:00:00.002+08:00

Okay yeay,duit raya ber-rolling already alah, but still setakat pathetic 30bucks lol. Thats quite good already lol. Cause i didnt even went out from home and yeap,believe it anot,i havent even wore any baju kurung and its already, err the 4th day of raya? Rabak habis yo ! (Y) I ate alot and i feel like shitting again -.- How to become fat? Brrrh.

So yeap,just now's open house, my auntie whc came to my house ask me when im serving drinks to them just now. "Maya puasa naik badan?" As in she was saying did i put on weight? I just showed the blurr face,lol. Cause idk if ive put on weight. She said i look more tembam? Err? Lols. Okay no comment,good then if someone realise ive put on weight. Cause ive been asking mom if i look fat lol. But im not aneroxic lah duh. I still thinks im thin. Help mom rebus mee ,serve drinks do drinks repeatedly again and again,im tired. And ajie sleeps at my house today. So yeap,tmr wil be my first day of going out for raya,lol.

Im still thinking on following haiqal and his bandmates whc err im segan to tag along,cause idk most of them. I only knew mimi and err awie,but yeah idk him lol. Haiqal promise to entertain my all the way but still,im embarrased,lol. Not embarrased to meet you but yeah embarrased cause idk most of them so dont think the other way round okay. :)
I cant wait for raya class outing. 4 thinking whc if coincidencelly reading my blog,please text me if you wanna tag along alright. Loves.

Okay next, thank god someone forgive me for breaking my promise lol thanks anywhoos <3
Habbo tak perlu eh please,layan maya perlu. :D Roflols. Im waiting for jaja to online,she said she onlineing at 1.30am but she dint till now. Its 1.52am. I bet she's sleeping like a pig again lol.

And yeap, to you. Its not that i pentingkan "konek" but you're someone who couldnt be trusted,NATURALLY so yeap. :) Sorry,im straight forward too lol. If you're reading till here then good. I have my reasons for saying this way. Yknow why i said i didnt trust you and i trusted him? Cause ive seen how you twisted your words and all. Haah, the way you told you didnt love him at all, without having feelings for him eventhough i ask you alot of times when we're close with each other. But you,twist your words,not me. The way you gets close to him again and confess you still love him and whatever more you say to him whc i dont wanna know. I dont wanna brag about this anymore. This are my last words to you;good luck in life and yeah,jealousy spoils everything. You choose to be sensitive and blog and beat around the bush as jaja says. So yeap,i hope you realise your mistake ,goodbye.

2008-10-04T02:44:00.005+08:00

Okay,its almost 4am now. I just hang up somone's call.
Sedih pe hidup kene hang up.
Somone's sulking because i dont wanna sing for him. Ughh.
I thought he's joking when he say he wanna sleep. (check2 merajuk)
Sekali die hang up betol2 baik pe sia ! (y) Amalkan selalu yo,tgh bestbest bobal =.=

1234'S back and im going to meet them up pretty soon.
:D
Currently chatting with jaja only,to bring up my mood back.
Bye.

Bizarre love triangle.

2008-10-03T17:26:00.003+08:00

Bring it on,if you want this to continues. I know your type of person, i heard alot,thats why i dont wanna be in good terms with you,iika. You keep bringing matters up when everything had ended,why? Still not satisfied of me? Such a waste of time entertaining you,really. But nevermind, since you're not satisfied of me,then bring it on. I've realise my mistake whats more? You said sorry,you wanna forget everything and start anew but this happens again. Seriously,your type of person,you dont meant by your words, i bet you dont even know what you're talking about. "Just promise me i wont lose you." Remember you use to say that to me? I just think that are only words with no meaning though,really. Thats why i said i cant promise,and see what happens now? See how you find faults with me and make things worse. Can i ask you something? Whats your problem actually? I dont understand. Im no one to you. Go with your bestfriends. Sorry,but i got no intention to take jaja away from you. I got two bestfriends. Jaja's close to me cus she knows my situation as she's in it too. Not because of you cant get online at night and thats the reason why she's close to me. Dont get the wrong idea. I have two bestfriends and i treasured them alot. I dont go around taking people's bestfriend,i mean like wtf? Done.

I think i did badly for my n levels,and how i wish i wanna repeat it again,without thinking of things that disturbed my mind. Norman says i wont retain but i feel like i'll retain. Ugh,geography paper and maths paper was difficult just now. And i slept halfway through geography paper but then i have enough time though. Cause i was on the phone with asshole till 5am. Okay fine,not asshole,its faris/fafa. Lol. Well, its a waste of time cause he semangat teach me toa cah soh on the phone,imagine how hard we tried to explain to each other how the triangle looks like,lol. Macam budak b____. Lol,he dont wannt sing for me -.- Fuck you lah faris,haha. Action,got nice voice then wanna jual mahal. Surprisingly he's always the one who ask me to learn weird things,like singing,harmonise and compose songs. K i was like wtf,i cant do that,lol. K whatever it is,i had fun talking to him. Thanks yo,for the revision of maths with me.

K im going "whatever" to n levels. I wont be going stressed up till december aint i? Ergh k whatever. Retain? Let's see -.- What i know i wont be coming to school for the 2 weeks of school ,cause i dont wanna go sec 5 oh please,there's not even a chance. And im finding work soon,so yeap. Bye.

2008-10-03T01:00:00.005+08:00

Someone thinks Im pathetic,in fact she said I alrd AM pathetic.First,2 months,had a hard time moving on equals to pathetic?Bah,define pathetic ah please,favour eh -.- Dalam tu longman dictionary punya meaning power! Yes,if its a love shared was a true one,one will have a hard time moving on.Yes me,for example.And obviously youre th first example right bfr me too,bcs you had a hard time to move on. Loving someone is soo pathetic. If i still havent move on,its my business,why still poke into my business? Its my freaking business and its my freaking life. Why be such a kepo arse to still read my blog and see how im doing and goes around saying "How pathetic siah this girl! Only two months what,not two years. " Wtv,for me it doesnt time doesnt even matters. Two years and so proud? Lol. Till you went to th extent of 'lets have our intimate moments for th last time', hahaha now THATS pathetic :D Or maybe slutteh?Lol,bebual pakai otak dulu eh,tu pun kalau otak kau functioning well ah.Banyak bunyi pulak,kata dah leave everything behind and start anew?Berlapuk ah kau,new lu! Dah tau meaning pathetic,bilang aku ok <3 Kawankawan/saudara mara/scandal scandal ika sila hate tag aku banyak banyak,thanks.

This are the picts yesterday. Believe me,i dint even go outfor raya. And i havent even wear any baju kurung this two days,seriously. Mom's lazy to raya and yeah me too, abit. Cause she say tengah berkabung cause stepdad just passed away so yeah. I'll try understand mom for once cause i sulk with her when she say she wont wanna raya. But nevermind,i'll understand. :) She ask me to go sleep at ajie's house for the first time. Cause she's afraid of being alone at home. But this time she say she brave alrd=.= Lol i got ready and had this 1hour boring bus ride. Almost all malays wearing baju kurung and me? =.= Pffft. Then reached there around 7 plus, dad was there so yeap. I miss nekyah so much. :) Almost one year i didnt visit her. Sleeping there,i feel like i have a proper family, with those kecoh situations all. Cause when im at home, all i did was played the comp and do my own things, mendak pe hidup.

So yeah guess what, i guet only 30 plus bucks for raya. HAHAHAHA! Really,lol. But whatever im working soon i guess. K bye, jia you maya for n level last paper tmrw then can enjoy siah k bye.
I miss my babygirls.

2008-10-01T01:01:00.004+08:00

Unedited,no nothing.

K great. Treatment's done thanks to daddy. Yeay i got a dad,do you? =.= Since long i havent had the feeling of having a dad,gah whatever. But yeah,thanks alot dad. I told him i wanted treatment badly,cause my hair roots are not healthy,and he transferred 30bucks into my account. If its a small amount for you,its a big amount for me. And it matters so much. Thanks again. Im thinking of trimming my hair or either cutting my fringe to bangs again,cause its long already,and my sideburn =.= Its like a part of the hair,not sideburn already lol. And first day and second raya's money,didnt matter how much i get,i had to replace farihin's memory card whc is spoiled because of that dam fucking coleslaw. Fuck you,coleslaw. =.= Need money badly and yes,it goes this way! (Y) I bet the memory card is either 30bucks i think,around that price. So yeap,first aim is this then my needs.

Went saloon and did hair treatment with farihin. Well,other saloons as doing treatment at 40bucks,70bucks gah. But we did get a saloon whc charge 35bucks so yeap,there we go. The machine was fucking hot and i feel like there's a fire on my hair,swear. My scalp feels the pain and my eyes are teary at that point of time,i kept grabbing hold of farihin's hands and clutch it. Thanks farihin for helping me by approaching the hairdresser and told her i cant stand the hotness-.- Thank god. Im just scared when the hairdresser bring up that machine,my hair all gone sia,thats my fear! =.="! Lol.

Went to woodlands lama, fuck menses spoil the day thanks. <3>Webcammed with faris,haiqal and farihin. I did smth crazy. Lol. Only qal knows hows the exact thing happened. :) I told yah im sporting :D

Thanks farihin for this . :)

And yes kepada semua orang, maaf zahir dan batin dan selamat menyambut hari raya. Tak kire lah,sesiapa yang sedang baca nie, maya nak mintak maaf,for real. Harap maya dimaafi,kite start anew okay? K go.

2008-09-30T13:08:00.002+08:00

Fuck art _|_ !
I slept halfway through and i have not enough time eventhough i had 3 hours to finish it. I think im focusing gila babi on geog and maths pp2 this friday.Grr, im going out in how many minutes,accompany farihin for her hair treatment. Idk to go for one anot, so yeah.

Selamat hari raya kepada umat umat islam.
And sumpah rambut jaja macam mangkuk kat almari dapur aku sia.

Remembering the past.

2008-09-29T18:51:00.001+08:00

Im sorry,but i cant simply lie to myself and im tired of smiling over a lie after all this while. Im having a hard time to move on without you. "Come on,move on. Just take me as some random guy you've date or just take me like the guys you love and then you moved on so quickly." Saying it is as simple as abc,you're not im my place,you dont know how it feels like. Wherever i go, i kept thinking of you. The moments we had together, the sweet things you did to me. Ive told you, ive never felt that way before. You told me i did make you felt special and im different,but why did you left? Faded feelings. Isnt that unreasonable enough? "I dont care if you wanna call me a jerk or what,but i hafta be truthful." I dont even have the heart to call you a jerk,cause i still am not over you. Be surprise,yes.

Your haters,my friends, ask me to move on, saying i could find someone better,someone more sweet cause i kept telling them you're the sweetest thing that has ever happen to me. They kept insisting,without asking me how much i loved you. They didnt understand. I treasured the one month we've dated,and i promise i'll never forget the times we shared. The moments when your 2 bestfriends are busy with work,and you had no other friends beside them, i was the one who accompanied you,all along. I was so delighted to be by your side,sitting beside you for hours like there's no tomorrow. The late night talks we had till 5, the webcamming sessions we had,laughing and crapping with each other for the whole night. I just realise, the more longer im with you, the lesser we had of them,late night talks and webcamming sessions. You tried telling me you miss those late night talks,you miss talking to me,but i was too busy to even realise all those stuffs.

Till, you told me you had to let me go, you had fade feelings after i told you to be honest about either you still love me like how you do,but yes,thats the truth i had to face. It happens too fast for me,when i think its only the beginning. Remember i told you , you were one step to what i want everything in a guy? Yes,i do mean it,thats why im this hard to move on. Its not that im waiting for you,but i just cant develop feelings for anyone else,for the mean time. Say imma stuck with my past or what,im just being frank here. As im very tired of hiding the truth and playing pretence all this while. Really,im not waiting for you, but it will be a big woah if you still like me or either i can have another chance to know you better,like how we did last month. But nope,i just dont think that will happen. Its a miracle then if that happens but yes,as i know,you're already moving on and liking someone else when you say you dont wanna fall for someone else bfr that. Whatever. Ive been keeping this to my wholeself and finally i have the courage to let it out. Im sure you didnt read my blog,cause you're busy with stuffs whc somehow i dont wanna know. Im done with my blabberings. And yes,to others,this is my blog,and its my say. If you're not satisfied somehow,with what ive written,approached me and talk nicely. Don't be a coward,blogging back about 'a whore is not over a flirt.' or whatever. Done.

This picture was taken today,at my house. Well, pardon our messy hair, we were revising maths while lying down. So yeah,currently fucked up. First,mensus came during science paper and yeah fuck it, adding up with tmrw,3 days didnt fast in total,i wanna do full sia -.-'! Every paper was difficult and i dont know why. When i studies hard yesterday till sahur,bah. K whatever. Im not depending on science. Maths was such a screwed up paper,ive got no comment about it. Maths is always a screwed up subject btw,other than science. So yeah,went to causeway to farihin to accompany her. I was having stomach pain,i swear it hurts and i feel like shouting. Stomach pain as in stomach cramps. I feel like going on a jog to reduce the pain but im plain lazy and i had art to do. K wtv,im done. Im sorry farihin,if i didnt entertained you alot just now,cause i was busy entertaining this pain like shit sia -.-

Bye arseholes.

2008-09-29T02:58:00.000+08:00

Farihin,i dont care,but you hafta read all this long paras about you,thanks darl.

First of all, happy 16 birthday to this baby of mine, Nur Farihin Binte Kamal. Yes,full name,ada hal? Lol. So yeap,my baby's turned 16 today and eventhough im this tired to blog,i'll still on the comp and blog about this birthday babies. Okay,let's watch NC16 and farihin,you dont have to sulk and say "Diam ah." when we teased you about watching Nc16 movies,lol. And yeas,im sorry but i had to give the advanced birthday present to you cause you really wanted that jonas brother's album so much. So if i didnt buy on that monday, you'll buy yourself. So yeap,thats your advanced birthday present. I swear im happy to see you hyper that way calling me when i didnt attend school when you get that album already and shouting "Mayaaaaaaaa! Thanks ahhhh aku sayang kau!" K isit? I dont quite remember cause it was last week. But really,you made me smiled eventhough i was sleeping before you called me. ;D

Soo yeah,im really sorry we couldnt make your birthday a special one,like how you and the others planned up my birthday party. And yeah,please remember me when you're listening to that album,thanks hehe. Thanks for being there,thanks for the accompanion as always,thanks for the calls when im bored,thanks for the cheer up jokes when im down,thanks for the kisses you gave me,thanks for the singings video you sang for me when i asked you to. And lastly,thanks for the 1 year plus,almost to two, precious friendship you gave me,i really loved you. I really hope we could contact each other. Though im really sure im out of evergreen secondary by this this end of year. Cause i really lack of revisions for my n's,im so sorry if i dissapoint you. But yeah,i really wanna be out of that school. Period.

Such a bad luck your birthday falls on an n's level day. 3 papers zomg,i bet you revise like crazy. And my wish from me to you,is for you to go for sec 5s,so yeap. I can even write up 5 long paragraphs describing about you,and i maybe,i can end up crying typing out how we started our friendship. Where out first picture taken is,whc is at class,thats where we started getting close. And im really touched you remember all that too. So yeap,the quarrels we had,the tiny weeny fights lame ones i mean, made me knows how you'll react and how you want be to stay as one of your friends. I really am thankful to have a bestfriend like you,and i hope this stays on. Have a great 16th celebration with your family. I love you ♥Okay yeap,another birthday girl it is. Happy 16th birthday to Fadiana too. K surprisingly,i had the urge to with you happy birthday too. Thanks to jaja/nabilah(hahaa) for planning this up. Texting me at first,asking if i wanna wish you happybirthday,so yeap. I just join in the plan,eventhough im revising like crazy. Was going to give up when jaja hang up my call when i called for the first time,but i really wanna wish you. But i didnt own your number,so yeah i called ja again. And i was happy she finally pick up my call. Called you and yeah shouted HAPPY BIRTHDAY FADIANA! And yeah, sang for you a birthday song,whc i think jaja sings it very slowwwwww and she get the lyrics wrong,case dh lama tak nyanyikan orang birthday song,lol.

So yeah i dont know if you really was close to crying but yeah im really happy you appreciated our friendship is built back again. Cause you did text me after we end our conference call. :) So yeah, you know you owe me a dRRRawing of dendeng at msn convo,im waiting for it. If real dendeng,also can,cause im hungry for dendeng,lol. But since you're broke then neverminddd. Haha joking :] I looooove people with pelat r or s, so yeah. You're in that cute category of people. Dont be disheartened about your ex,whc you told me about. Get it once and over with, so yeah. Guys are not worth our tears jia you! Aku bobal macam paham padahal -.- Eh siak ah. K stop. Goodluck for your o levels. And yes, i really hope 1234 could go back as per normal,without any conflicts happen. Or maybe,i want a time machine,where we were sooo happy with each other.Having out late night calls. Its great to have a girl's late night call than rather having a guy's one everydayyyy. Lol. Good luck in life and have fun on your birthday okay ♥

And to ja: We're the super cute voice ah right? Lol, i didnt know i planned like a kid's voice saying "Okay nanti fad dh angkat abeh kan die dh cakap hello,abeh kau kene cakap 123 taaaau! Kalau tak,aku tak tau bile nak start. And then nanti kite kene pekik sama sama! " Lol. I didnt even give the time for you to talk lol. So yes,thanks to ja for everything. Really.

Thanks for planning this up,whc made me remind of the past,where me tasha fad and you had our fun late night calls. Thanks for understanding me,thanks for knowing me,thanks for asking me to stop pretending and thanks for everything. Meet up soon okay!